Tag: Breast cancer

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Lace Under My Armor

Posted in cancer, faith, God, inspiration, love, relationships, selfhelp, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Someone told me I was one of the strongest women they know. Juggling a crippling set of battles and making it look easy.

I smiled… but something in me shifted.

Because strength has a way of being misunderstood.
People see what you carried.
They don’t always see what it cost you to carry it.

And before I could stop myself, I said it out loud:
“There is lace under my armor.”

Not everything about me is steel.
Not everything about me is survival.
There are still places in me that feel deeply.
Places that bruise.
Places that hope… even when hope has been stretched thin.

And right there… in this tender space… God met me with this:
2 Corinthians 12:9
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Not weakness like quitting.
Not weakness like falling apart with no return.

But the kind that says…
I don’t have to be hard all the time.
I don’t have to pretend I am unaffected.
I don’t have to wear armor so tight that grace can’t get in.

And, I have learned about armor,
the belt of truth holding me steady,
the breastplate guarding my heart,
the shield lifted when the hits keep coming,
the helmet covering my thoughts,
the shoes that keep me standing when I’d rather sit down,
and the sword I reach for when I need to speak life.

Each piece doing what it was designed to do…
and still, not covering everything all the time.

There are moments when something sacred shows through;
a tender place,
an honest place,
a place still being healed.

Because His strength was never designed to sit on top of my perfection.
It settles into the soft places.
The honest places.
The lace.

So yes… I am strong.
But not because I stopped feeling.
Not because I became unbreakable.

I am strong because I let God meet me in the places that still are.

There is lace under my armor…
and sometimes, my slip shows.

And that is exactly where His grace rests.

Love,
Chelle
defygravitywithoutwings.com

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Not Chained. Positioned.

Posted in faith, God, health, inspiration, law, love, money, relationships, Uncategorized, workTagged , , , , , , , Leave a comment

It’s 1:15 a.m.
The house is quiet, but my mind isn’t.
My spirit is talking, but my thoughts keep trying to interrupt. And if I’m honest, I don’t even want to go where my mind keeps taking me.

Because yesterday… I got burned.
Not a misunderstanding.
Not a small thing I can laugh off later.
Burned.
And not the kind you can just pray off and keep it moving like nothing happened.

And the part that makes it sit heavy in my chest is this: I’m still expected to show up tomorrow like nothing happened.
Smiling. Producing. Performing.
Because apparently… healing is not on the job description.

Because responsibilities don’t pause for disappointment. Bills don’t care about betrayal. And sometimes… purpose doesn’t immediately pull you out of uncomfortable places.

So there I was… sitting in the quiet, feeling tired in a way sleep can’t fix and the thought slipped in:

“I’m chained to this situation.”


Gee… I didn’t even like how that sounded coming out of my own mouth. But just as quickly… something in my spirit pushed back.

Not loud.
Not dramatic.
Just steady:

“You’re not chained… you’re positioned.”

Whew.

Because chained means stuck. No movement. No options. No end.
But positioned? Positioned means this is not permanent… no matter how long it’s been.
Positioned means there is purpose even here.
Positioned means you’re still on your way somewhere.

So I had to correct myself. I am not chained.
I am in transition with responsibilities.
And that changes how I stand in this space.

It means I don’t burn bridges out of frustration but I also don’t build my identity in a place that hurt me.

It means I pay attention. Because what hurt me also showed me something.
How people move.
What I can and cannot depend on.
Where I need boundaries.

What happened yesterday? That wasn’t just pain. That was data. And baby… I take notes.
And data helps you move wiser.

So instead of letting my mind replay the moment or fast-forward me into feeling stuck forever, I made a decision in the quiet:

I will deal with this tomorrow. Not at 1:15 a.m. Because I am not losing sleep over something God is already handling.

Because this hour isn’t for fixing. It’s for listening. And when I listened,I heard it clearly:
“I am not chained. I am collecting what I need before I move.”

So I’ll show up. I’ll do what needs to be done.
Not because they deserve my best… but because I do.

But I won’t shrink. I won’t forget who I am or whose child I am. And I won’t mistake a temporary season for a permanent assignment.

To be clear… just because I’m still here doesn’t mean I’m staying. Because even here,

God is still positioning me.

—

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord… “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29

—

Love,
Chelle
DefyGravityWithoutWings.com 💛

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When It Bolts

Posted in cancer, faith, God, health, inspiration, love, relationshipsTagged , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

It’s 4:23 a.m. on Easter Sunday and I’m standing in my little greenhouse, looking at spinach that decided overnight… it was done.

Tall stems where leaves used to be. Little flowers where nourishment used to grow.
Bolting.

Translation? “It’s too hot for what I used to do.”

And for a second, I felt disappointed. Like I did something wrong. Like I missed a window. Like I should’ve held on longer.
But spinach doesn’t argue with the season.
It doesn’t force itself to keep producing what the environment no longer supports. It shifts.

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” — Ecclesiastes 3:1

And standing there, I realized… Some of us are still trying to produce peace in places that have already gotten too hot.

Still trying to hold conversations that only grow bitterness. Still trying to get nourishment from situations that have already shifted into something else.

And we call it perseverance. But sometimes…
It’s just a season that’s ended. The spinach didn’t fail. The season changed.

And instead of forcing leaves that would turn bitter anyway… it moved on to producing something new.
Seeds.
Future.
What’s next.

And maybe that’s where I am too.
Not failing.
Not falling apart.
Not losing ground.
Just recognizing that I don’t have to keep forcing what no longer grows here.

Because the work of the  Cross didn’t just prove He could get up… it proved that endings don’t get the final say.

So I don’t have to panic when something stops producing. Idon’t have to force life out of what has already shifted. And I don’t have to sit in disappointment like something has gone wrong.

Nothing went wrong.

The season changed.

And the same God who allowed this one to close… is already making room for what comes next. And instead of holding on too tight… I’m learning how to release without fear.

“Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth…” — Isaiah 43:18–19

So I’m not mourning what bolted. I’m watching for what’s about to spring up.

Love, Chelle
defygravitywithoutwings.com

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Release While In Motion

Posted in cancer, faith, God, health, inspiration, love, money, relationships, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , Leave a comment


It was one of those days that needed me to be focused.

Not halfway. Not distracted.
The kind of day where details matter, timing matters, and anything pulling at your attention feels like it’s trying to sabotage something important.

And yet… my mind would not sit still.

It kept circling the same place.
Big decisions. Career. Finances. Life.

The kind of decisions that don’t come with a clear map. The kind that make you pause long enough to ask God, “Am I supposed to stay… or am I free to go?”

So somewhere in the middle of moving, thinking, preparing, and trying to keep my day on track, I said it:

“Lord… I need You to tell me I’m released.”

Not emotional. Not panicked. Just honest.

Because I wasn’t trying to escape anything…
I just didn’t want to stay somewhere out of habit when You had already given permission to move.

And without missing a beat…God answered me in traffic.

A car passed by with the license plate:

GodHVUS

I paused.

Because… okay Lord. I hear You.

A few minutes later, another one rolled past:

DBLBLSD

Now I’m sitting there like… “Sir… are You serious right now?”

And then it settled in. Not just what passed me… but what I was already sitting in.

My own car. My own plate.

Renew2

“See, I am doing a new thing; now it springs up—do you not perceive it?” — Isaiah 43:19

I asked God for release… and He answered with coverage, increase, and a reminder I had been carrying the whole time.

God has us. Double blessed. Renewed too.

And just like that, what felt heavy…
shifted.

Because release doesn’t always come with a loud announcement. Sometimes it comes with peace that quietly replaces pressure. Sometimes it shows up while you’re still in motion… not when you’ve stopped everything to go looking for it.

God doesn’t just release you from a place.
He renews you for the next one.

Because walking into something new with an old mindset will have you second-guessing doors He already opened.

It will make you call provision “too uncertain”
and growth “too uncomfortable.”

But when God is in it…there is a steadiness that follows.

Not because you have every answer but because you know you’re not walking alone.

So if you find yourself in the middle of a busy day… trying to hold everything together while quietly asking God for direction,

Pay attention.

He may not stop your schedule to answer you. But He will meet you right in it. And when He does…you won’t have to force clarity.

It will roll right past you.

Love, Chelle
defygravitywithoutwings.com

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His April Faithfulness

Posted in cancer, cancer, faith, God, health, inspiration, love, moneyTagged , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Even though today is April Fool’s Day…
for me, it marks something completely different.

Twenty-one years ago, I went from being a near-homeless divorcee with three kids in tow to becoming a homeowner in 90 days.

And I still smile when I think about it. Because I was so careful not to say anything that might disrupt what God was doing, that every time someone asked me, “Chelle, what are you going to do?” I would simply say, “I’ll tell you on Wednesday.”

There was nothing special about Wednesdays… except that it gave me somewhere to place my expectation.

And sure enough—every Wednesday—
God gave me something to say.
A step. A shift. A provision. A testimony.

So I kept showing up to Wednesdays. And when I finally walked into that house, on April Fools Day,  I found a Bible waiting for me.

Inside was a note from the selling  realtor that said: “Your bid was not the highest, but in 1955 this house was built for you. God has blessed it. Enjoy”

Confirmation of what I already knew.
This wasn’t luck.
This wasn’t timing.
This was God.

And here I am, twenty-one years later…
on another Wednesday.
Still standing.
Still provided for.
Still carried.

And if I’m being honest… at 2 a.m. this morning, life tried to get loud again.
Decisions. Pressure. Finances.
The kind of weight that makes your head hurt and your chest feel tight.

But somewhere between the worry and the whisper,  I found my footing again.

And this is what I stood on:
Lord, I trust You more than this situation.
Lord, I trust You more than what this situation is trying to tell me.
Lord, I trust You more than how I feel right now.
Lord, I trust You more than my need to control how this turns out.
Lord, I trust You to take care of me… no matter what this becomes.

Because I’ve seen this before.

Different details… same God.

So no… I don’t really do April Fool’s. Because I’ve lived long enough to know that God doesn’t play about His promises.

This isn’t April Fool’s to me. This is “His April Faithfulness.” A reminder that no matter what I face, God has always had my back.

Not always my way.
Not always my timing.
But always… faithfully.



Love, Chelle
defygravitywithoutwings.com

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Flowers Don’t Apologize

Posted in cancer, faith, God, health, inspiration, love, relationships, selfhelp, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

This prayer is for those who need to realize…
you can’t have flowers without the dirt… and some rain.

I know… we love the bloom.
We love the part people can see.
We love the color, the beauty, the evidence that something worked.

But real growth?
It doesn’t happen in the spotlight.

It happens down in the dirt.
In the messy places.
In the seasons that don’t look like anything is happening at all.

And if we’re being honest…
some of us have been side-eyeing the dirt in our lives.

Questioning it.
Trying to rush out of it.
Asking God why it had to be this way.

But this morning… let me remind you gently…

“His mercies are new every morning.”
— Lamentations 3:23

That means yesterday’s mess didn’t disqualify you. It didn’t ruin the process.
It didn’t cancel what God is growing in you.

It watered something.

Even the hard conversations. Even the tears.
Even the moments you wish you could redo.

God used it.

So yes… there may be some mud in your life right now. Yes… it may feel uncomfortable.
Yes… it may not look like growth yet.

But that doesn’t mean nothing is happening.
It means something is forming beneath the surface.

So today… we make a choice.
We choose to rejoice.
Not because everything feels good…
but because we trust what God is doing.

We rejoice in all things…
because we understand that dirt and rain
are part of the process of becoming.

And when it’s time to bloom…
You won’t have to explain a thing.

Flowers don’t apologize for the dirt it took to grow them.

Dear God,
Thank You for not wasting the dirt in our lives. Even the parts we didn’t choose…
even the seasons that felt heavy, messy, and unclear. 

Help us to trust You in the middle of it. When we don’t see growth…
when all we feel is the weight of the soil…
remind us that You are still working beneath the surface.


Teach us to stop resisting what You are using.
Give us the grace to endure the rain and the patience to wait for what is being formed.
And when it’s hard… help us to rejoice anyway. Not because everything feels good,
but because You are good in everything.

Grow us in the places we tried to escape.
Strengthen what we thought was breaking.
And when it’s time to bloom…
let it be undeniable that it was You.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Love, Chelle
defygravitywithoutwings.com

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When You Finally Deal With the Root

Posted in cancer, faith, God, health, inspiration, love, selfhelp, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , Leave a comment


I’ve been out there in the yard, minding my business, working on my garden. And while I was planning what I could grow…
I kept looking over at this little tree behind the garage.

Now let me tell you this thing has been cut down more times than I can count.
And every time I thought we were done?
Here it come again.
Fresh. Bold. Unbothered. Like it pays a light bill back there.

And what really got me?

I realized I would have a whole lot more room
to grow something good…if that little joker would just go on and leave.**

But it won’t.
Because it’s not gone.
It’s rooted.

As frustrating as it is, I’m not losing. I’m just not dealing with the part that matters.
Because clearly…
cutting it ain’t killing it.

Some of us living like that. We trimming behavior. Fixing attitudes—for a week. Saying “this time I mean it” with our whole chest.

Meanwhile the root sitting underground like:
“I’ll be back.”

See, we like surface work. It’s quicker. It’s cleaner. It lets us feel productive without being uncomfortable.

But roots?
Roots require honesty.
Roots require time.
Roots require letting God get into places we’ve been managing real well on our own.

And God, in all His love, will look at something we keep trimming and say: We not doing this again. Not because He’s harsh. But because He’s not interested in your exhaustion becoming your lifestyle.


“See, I have set you this day over the nations and over the kingdoms, to pluck up and to break down, to destroy and to overthrow,
to build and to plant.” Jeremiah 1:10

Did you catch that order?
Pluck up first.
Then build.

Because God is not about to plant something new on top of something that keeps coming back.

Let me say it plain: Some of us don’t lack space for growth. We just haven’t removed what’s taking up room.

And I know… we get attached to our coping mechanisms. We get used to our patterns. We learn how to function with things that were never meant to stay.

But there comes a moment when you get tired enough to say: “Okay God…we not cutting this again. We removing it.”

Dear God, I see now that some things haven’t left because I haven’t let You deal with the root. Give me the courage to stop managing what You’re trying to remove. Clear out what’s taking up space in me so something better can grow. And help me trust that what You uproot is making room for something good.
Amen.

—

Love, Chelle
defygravitywithoutwings.com

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The Things I Didn’t Throw Away

Posted in cancer, faith, God, inspiration, love, selfhelp, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , Leave a comment

All my life, I’ve collected broken things.

Toys missing pieces.
Tools that didn’t quite work right anymore.
People… especially people.

Not because I didn’t notice what was wrong.
But because I could still see what was there.

I think my favorite rescue was a Christmas ornament—
a little elf on skis… missing one leg.

He couldn’t glide like he was made to.
Couldn’t balance like the others on the tree.
But I kept him anyway.

Hung him where he could still be seen.

Then there was that little robot suncatcher.
The one that doesn’t dance anymore
because his color panel is worn down.

He just… stands there now.
Still catching light, just differently.

And just this week, I stood in a nursery
while someone said, “Don’t buy those.
They’ll only last a week.”

Tulips on the clearance rack.
Already on their way out.
And I thought, a week of beauty is still beauty.


So I bought what I could afford.
Not to save them forever…
just to enjoy them while they’re here.

I’ve never been drawn to perfect things.
Perfect things don’t need you.

But worn things? They need a little time.
A little patience. A little belief that they’re not finished yet.

And somewhere along the way, I decided this:
Just because something doesn’t work the way it used to… doesn’t mean it has no use at all.

Sometimes it just needs a different kind of care.
A slower hand.
A softer place to land.
Someone willing to stay a little longer than is convenient.

Because even the smallest things,
a crooked ornament,
a quiet presence,
a short-lived bloom,
can still add something to the world.

I’ve always believed there is a kind of invisible ledger… a quiet tally being kept.
Not of perfection. Not of productivity.

But of smiles.

And if something—anything—can still add to the smile quota of the world… then it still has value.

I’ve seen what happens when you don’t give up too quickly. I’ve ve seen people who were overlooked become the very ones who light up a room.

I’ve seen what love can do when it doesn’t rush off at the first sign of difficulty.

So if you’re feeling worn today…
set aside…
like maybe people have decided you’re too much or not enough,

Hear me:

You are not something to be discarded.
You are still capable of adding something good to this world. Even if it looks different than it used to. Even if it’s quieter than before.

Even if it’s just one smile.

And that counts more than you think.

Matthew 5:7
“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.”

I see you — still adding to the world in quiet ways that matter more than you know.

Love, Chelle
defygravitywithoutwings.com

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Bessie Coleman – The Woman Who Refused to Stay Grounded

Posted in Black History Month, faith, God, inspiration, love, women's history monthTagged , , , , , Leave a comment

(January 26, 1892 – April 30, 1926)

Sometimes the sky becomes the only place left to prove you belong.

Bessie Coleman grew up in Texas at a time when both race and gender limited opportunity. When she dreamed of becoming a pilot, every flight school in the United States refused to teach her.

She was Black.
She was a woman.

So Bessie Coleman did something extraordinary.

She learned French and traveled to France, where she earned her pilot’s license in 1921, becoming the first African American and Native American woman in the world to hold an international pilot’s license.

When she returned to the United States, crowds came to watch her fly. Coleman became a famous stunt pilot, performing breathtaking aerial tricks that left audiences amazed.

But she used her platform for something deeper.

She refused to perform at air shows that did not allow Black audiences to attend. To her, flight was not just entertainment.

It was dignity.

There is a verse in Isaiah that says, “They will soar on wings like eagles.”

Bessie Coleman lived that promise with courage and determination.

Sometimes the first person to break a barrier
must build the runway herself.


Breadcrumb
The world may close doors in front of you.

Bessie Coleman did not accept the doors that were closed.

She crossed an ocean instead.

Sometimes God places a dream in your heart that cannot grow where you started.

And sometimes the path forward begins
with the courage to leave the ground.

Steps From Our Sisters
Honoring the Women Who Marched Before Us

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Grace O’Malley – Pirate Queen

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(c.1530 – 1603)
Sometimes history remembers kings. But occasionally the sea belongs to a queen.
Grace O’Malley, known in Ireland as Gráinne Mhaol, was born into a powerful maritime clan along Ireland’s western coast. From a young age she refused the expectations placed upon women of her time.
She learned the sea instead. Grace commanded ships, led sailors, and controlled trade routes along the rugged Irish coastline. Her fleets became legendary, and her name was spoken with both admiration and caution.
When English forces threatened her family and territory, Grace O’Malley did something almost unheard of. She sailed to England and met Queen Elizabeth I face to face.
The two women spoke as equals, negotiating the freedom of O’Malley’s son and the restoration of her lands.
There is a verse in Psalm 93 that says, “The Lord reigns… the seas have lifted up their voice.”
Grace O’Malley’s life seemed to echo that image—strong, fearless, and unafraid of powerful waters.
Sometimes courage does not wait for permission.
Sometimes it sets sail.
Strength often begins with refusing the limits others place on you.
Grace O’Malley was expected to live quietly. Instead she commanded ships and negotiated with queens.
Her story reminds us that leadership can emerge from the most unexpected places.
Sometimes the waves that try to block your path are the very waters meant to carry you forward.
Steps From Our Sisters
Honoring the Women Who Marched Before Us