Category: Uncategorized
MARY, DID SHE KNOW?
“ But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.” – Luke 2:19
In the past few weeks, I have heard so many complaints of not having money for “this” or not having funds for “that” when it comes to Christmas. Some to the point of “robbing Peter to pay Paul” for things they just can’t afford that will only bring them a momentary joy. Many are allowing themselves to drown in debt to prove that they are loved and that they do love. So much Christmas spirit lost to being “Christmas broke!”
Others still moan that the recent elections and darkness in the world around us just ruined the season for them. Politics, prejudice and pain instead of tidings of comfort and joy.
Listening to all of groaning (and a time or two participating myself), I now think of Mary on her first Christmas. If anyone…
View original post 661 more words
Share this:
Whistle While He Works
Psalms 67:7-8 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast;
I will sing and make music.
Awake, my soul!
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.
To some it may have seemed like a frivolous purchase. Silly even. I have a microwave. I even have a fancy coffee pot that boils water. I even heard someone comment “surely you have a pan you can use.”
But as I labored over it with tears dripping down my face , I knew “she” had to be the right shape….not too round and not tall. She had to be my favorite kitchen appliance color…blood red. And most importantly, she had to have the right spout and damper combination….so she would whistle when things got really hot. She loudly would need to be me when I needed to be reminded not to quit.
Every time I fill her with water I am reminded that there is the water of the Word in me. Living water intended for many purposes. To Cleanse. To Heal. To Serve. To Transform.
Every time I hear the almost violent rumbles within her…..an epic battle between the water within her and the pressure of the heat beneath her, I am reminded that I can not keep what’s in me bottled up. Just like my red teapot, there will be a shaking over the fire and I will sweat and cry a tear in an effort not to burst at the seams. I too feel a strangeness because not everyone knows how to handle me when the temperature is this hot.
A three week old diagnosis of Metastatic Ductal Carcinoma Stage 2 became the angry bubble for me.
Immediately, stupid satan….the lying accuser of this “sisteren”…came to kill dreams, steal a future and mainly destroy praise. Throwing every dart of “what if”, “who gonna”, “how this, how that”, and the worst of them all…”why.”
But after allowing a good (or should I say bad) temper tantrum, Holy Spirit comes to have His way He does with me. Oddly. Comically. Lulling me into peace with my grandma’s voice singing..” I am little Teapot. Round and Stout. Here’s My Handle. Here’s My Spout. When you hear Me Whistle, Lift Me Up and Pour Me Out.”
So here I am back to my perfect purchase made perfect by the Blood of Jesus. Though I know with all that water in me Victory is assured, when the pressure is more than I can humanly stand….when this pot in my heart and soul starts to sweat and cry, all I have to do is..Whistle.
Whistle through the steam is my war cry. Whistle under pressure is my praise. Whistle when it’s hot is my testimony.
When I “whistle”, I know God hears me. What He hears is not a lack of Faith but rather that I need to be handled with care. It means it time for me to be lifted and poured out. Poured out the contents of hot Word and Worship….full of His transformative power. Destined for an overflowing of healing and blessing.
Poured out to become the best cup of testimony.
The old saying is that when life gives you lemons..make lemonade. However, I intend to float mine in the amazing Tea that God is making. Should God’s Will be to deliver me via hot process rather than immediate escape, I will trust Him and Whistle While He Works.
Until Next Time – Michelle
Share this:
WHERE ARE YOU?
I would have fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. – Psalms 27:13
1/7/18. I will always remember that date like it was a star date in the Star Trek Captain’s Log.
Started off as a normal Sunday set-up. I had just cleaned up the area around the sound booth and was adjusting everything to get ready for that morning’s praise and worship. Service was a running a few minutes behind, but we were still fresh off our morning’s high of pre-worship hour prayers.
Then it happened. My phone rang. I almost never answer it during service. In fact, two minutes before I had nudged one of our teenagers about having their phone in use during Sunday school.
But I recognized the number. That familiar 264 exchange that every “kidney” family in my region of Virginia recognizes.
Breathless, full of anticipation, and almost terrified, palms and face sweating in two seconds flat, I answered to the coordinators voice…. “WHERE ARE YOU?”
You see, protocol call dictates that when the organ sharing center receives a possible match, you must call the prospective recipient to make sure they are within four hours of their chosen transplant hospital. Once whereabouts are confirmed, they then say they will call you back and promptly hang up.
Yes, you read that right. In one of the shakiest moments of your life, they hang up with a promise to call you back within an hour…..or so…. If it is a good match.
I was still in the sound booth. My son was sitting on his favored spot approximately 6 rows in front of me. I didn’t know whether to tell him or not that his life was about to change because we had been disappointed by these phone calls twice before.
I simply texted him “be ready to go when I tap you.”
His answer to me was a simple “Ok”. Never even asked why. Just trusted that if I said go, we go.
For me, on the other hand, this would be the longest 59 minutes of my entire life. Seems like time and space stood still. Room temp was suddenly too warm for me and the air too stale. I can’t remember if I set the microphones correctly… pastor could have been screaming and I would not have heard him. The praise and worship team was faithfully belting out songs that my impatient ears could not discern. All I could distinguish was the rhythm of the beating drum that was now matching my racing heartbeat.
Just about 45 minutes into the process, I had to set a course correct. Not on the sound board, but in myself. I had to steady myself on a bumpy ride by apologizing to God, to Jesus, to Holy Spirit. I had become so consumed with that phone call I forgot to continue in personal worship and attention to the Word being brought forth. I was esteeming what I wanted from God…more than I was esteeming God.
It was as if in that moment, Holy Spirit was ringing within my heart and asking “WHERE ARE YOU?”
I steadied myself. I readied myself. I began to worship through tears of pending decision, proclaiming that as much as I wanted this gift to release my son from 5 years of agonizing dialysis treatments, that I wanted the Presence of the Lord even more.
As my spiritual belly began to be filled with more and more of knowing that God was with me no matter what, I heard in my spirit, “hang up” and I looked down and the phone I had been clutching in my hand rang.
Tearfully I answer. Joyfully, 58 minutes into the wait, the coordinator responded……”HOW FAST CAN YOU GET HERE?”
And such is the stuff of our walk in Christ!!!!
How often have we positioned ourselves to want and need from God, some things directly tied to a promise that we are sure He made to us, and then only to find ourselves in a position that seemed more than we can bear. We sadly turn our “knock and the door shall be open” approach to believing into a heartsick lifestyle of being unfulfilled, unsatisfied and yes, even unbelieving unless we see the manifestation of the desire.
Hebrews 11:6 instructs us that “he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. Note it says “diligently seek Him”. Not diligently seek it.
In our individual journeys, we must be careful to remember when God calls to ask “Where Are You” that we be found seeking Him and not just the “thing” we are in hopes of. We need to be diligently obsessed with His Word, trusting His timing and praising His goodness even when it seems if all will fall apart.
And when He “hangs up,” we need to trust that He will indeed call again. While we wait, we need to focus on Him and His goodness. Hang up on any thought that causes you to doubt and despair. We need to abandon our consumption with the “will He” notions of whether we will be given that perfect mate. Ignore the siren of ticking biological clock. Avoid the stress of will the money come in time. Steel yourself to know more of Him….even when your child’s life is in the balance..
Trust God and His Goodness. . Even when it seems distant….it is in God’s plan. Even if it turns differently that what you expect, it is in His plan. Even if it is a no…because of reasons greater than we understand….better is in His plan.
Let the love of Him guide you. Let knowing that He only wants the best for you to guide you. Understand that loving Him more than anything you could ask for or desire is key in the knowing that soon He will be looking to call you to higher heights and greater blessings. Some so marvelous that you will forget what you originally wanted. Reset your control and let God have His way with it.
One last question. He wants to know and I am a bit curious in my prayers for you too.
Since we are confident that God is always on time, how soon can YOU get here?!
Share this:
Happy 1 Month Birthday
Wow. Hard to hold back grateful tears!!! Today marks 1 month since Isaiah has been given the most wonderful gift. I am so amazed at his progress and much to his embarassment, I get mushy over each milestone. He thought it was too much when I cried watching him eat his first (approved) baked french fry in 5 years.
Want to thank everyone who has stood with us and by us. Every who helped in prayer and financially. Those who cover me at work and those who dutifully make sure my church doesn’t miss me too much. Those who brought a plate and those who pushed a vaccum. For every card and every phone call.
You will never begin to know how much this means to me. How much it means to us.
Share this:
Superman
Smiling At Last
Stop Begging
It was supposed to be a 23 day fast. God broke it, when He Broke me. Visiting a healing service at MOBCC at the request of my sister, not knowing what to expect and not sure if I was really expecting anything at all. I was overwhelmed by the worship of the saints standing in faith. I was overcome by fresh perspective on the everlasting and living Word brought by the man of God.
But the kicker was at the altar, tears streaming down my face hearing the Spirit of God saying to me “Stop Begging for What’s Already Yours.” “ If you want to keep on eating this way for your health fine, BUT STOP BEGGING FOR WHAT’S ALREADY YOURS”.
Now yall, know I praise and you might even see me cry, but little Miss Reserved here, aint that demonstrative a person, but a scream came out of my spirit that I was not sure even belong to me and a release came over me like never before. Still I tried to press closer and press closer looking for an extra touch from the man of God for my son. Parts of me still desperate. I hear the Spirit speak to me again “Is it him or Is it Jesus?” Of course I say Jesus, and I hear in my soul “You aint the woman looking for the crumbs from the table.. STOP BEGGING FOR WHAT’S ALREADY YOURS”
And then there was the call to sow a sacrificial seed. Not really having it but walking in faith, I go to sow mine. Thinking “here Lord”. And then I heard it “ You know you can’t buy a miracle right”.. I was like yes Lord, I know. And then again I hear again “STOP BEGGING FOR WHAT’S ALREADY YOURS”
So finally I surrender to my seat and just lift my hands in worship finally surrendering to what God was telling me. I felt the need to remove the shoes because “this was Holy Ground”. I surrender all fears, and creeping doubts, and misunderstanding to receive what was already mine.
Would you know it, as soon as I did, the man of God ended the service but on the way out he pulled my son and I aside and took us back into private chambers , away from the crowd, to lay hands on us. He proclaimed what was ALREADY OURS and said that what we were to be prepared for was a RECOVERY EFFORT to BRING BACK WHAT IS ALREADY OURS.
All I can say I am glad my sisters had my shoes and my purse or I would have ran out without them. .. On the 8 day of the 8 month on the 8 day of a fast, God gave me a new beginning. NO MORE BEGGING FOR WHAT’S MINE….. WE ARE NOW ON A RECOVERY MISSION.
Share this:
You Are Normal!
For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities;
– Hebrews 4:15 KJV
We often joke in my household that I would never make a good politician because I tell everything about and on myself so there would never be any dirt to dig up…unless you looked under the carpet. I believe the wearing of my heart on my sleeve comes from having a testimony of a loving God that has been too good to me to keep it to myself. I pretty much live an open book. Or so I thought.
My ministry is the often sharing of being joyful in troubled times, trusting God no matter what and believing how He would restore all. Nice, tidy, wonderful sounding inspiration…missing one major detail. Maybe it was pride. Maybe it was fear. Maybe I could not stand to have to utter words aloud that would cause me to think and deal with it or myself.
But recently I was faced with three persons that “outed” me. One was struggling to hold on in faith when modern medicine said “no way.” Another because of past mistakes was wondering how God could ever love her. Finally, the third who had lost the roof over her head due to medical and legal difficulties. Each supposing lack in their faith because they were scared, they were hurt, and they were ashamed of the way they felt.
Normally, I would have an easy answer for their queries of “I don’t understand how you do it?” But God challenged me to pull the last bit from under the rug. It didn’t sound like such a testimony to me, but from each of the “three” I received either a “why didn’t you tell me” or “gee, you hid that well.” Finally I was convicted by “I really needed to hear that….I am normal”.
My secret you ask? It was simply the answer “ME TOO”.
Most of you already know that it has been close to 5 years now since my son simultaneously went deaf and into final stage renal failure. I have not been slack to share most of the experience… highs and lows. What I failed to share… and even now I hesitate to say it…..the day I got mad with God.
You see, after years of countless surgeries, repeated illness and thrice weekly dialysis treatments, a suitable donor match had been found. We immediately went into preparation mode to get the house ready for infection control, not spending a spare dime since I would be out of work for weeks, and tip toeing around family and friends because we wanted to keep the surprise quiet until after the procedure. We cancelled all travel, all vacations and even my participation in what could have been a career changing convention concert.
And then “it” happened! I was in devotions one morning and I clearly heard God say to me “Forget the Back-up Plan…” I didn’t have a clue what that meant at the time, but I knew it meant to trust Him. In my mind’s eyes I immediately applied that thought to my finances, my job and so on and so on. Everything except what would come next.
Just a few days before we were supposed to check into the hospital, I get a cold emotionless call from a third party nurse. She gave no explanation. She would not answer any of my questions. She offered no empathy or sympathy. She simply said a very technical version of “No Go. “
I don’t remember any reports of earthquakes that day. But I felt it. I didn’t know how I was going to tell my son, who was so excited about finally being free from the pain and isolation of dialysis. I was furious. Was God playing with me like a cat with a string? Imagine if you will, me going off by myself because I didn’t want any people to know though I knew in my spiritual mind God had a plan…..my heart and my head was all jacked up. I wanted to know what I had done wrong. I wanted to know what I needed to do better
As if God had not seen me, I reminded Him of all the nights I stood by my son’s bedroom door praying and listening for his breath making sure it was still there. I reminded Him, how we believed through all the extreme body pain when the high dose narcotics wouldn’t do. I reminded Him, how we stayed faithful even when were too tired to function. I even bargain that even if my prayers were no good, then surely somebody amongst all the folks that prayed for our family there had to be one….even just one… whose faith was greater.
My screams were met with simply “Forget the Back-up Plan.”
It became clear that God was telling me to trust Him even when I could not trace Him. We found out later than the donor had a sudden condition that disqualified him. If we had received that kidney, it would have failed us quickly. We would have been in a bigger mess than what we started with. Just like His Word says in Jeremiah 29, He has a plan that has a good and certain end. For our Good and not to harm us.
As I told my three friends, it didn’t happen overnight. Months have passed now and I still jump a little when the phone rings at night. I will be honest and let you know that this piece took days to write because tears started to flow amidst a whole lot of “God I am sorry. “
I reveal all these things to simply let you know that whatever you are going through, You ARE normal. Being faithful and believing is not always easy, but so very worth it. Yes, Philippians 4:4 tells us to “Rejoice in the Lord Always, “ and then goes on to say “Again I say rejoice. “ I surmise that if we have to be told and then reminded to rejoice then apparently it “aint” always easy.
Believe it or not, He knows you hurt. He is not a God so far out that He is not touched with our personal pains (Hebrews 4:15). He is okay with you being honest about it. He will not strike you down for asking questions.
Just remember that it is faith that moves mountains… not tears. Cry but keep pushing!!!!
Share this:
When The One Sees You
“This is what He wanted to do and it gave Him great pleasure.”
(Ephesians 1:5b NLT)
Every day people are in search of someone to love. Someone to care for and be cared for by. They have an image in their heads of size, hair color, personality, affection and security. Most often, though, that plan is reduced to a simple statement of “I will know it when I see it.”
It is this search for not just a companion, but someone to take great care for, that sends many right past the specialty shops in the mall. Right past the big box gatherings. Right past the matches of pure perfection and straight to the misfit mutt at the local pound.
Yes, I am talking about a puppy. Or am I?
Amongst the human race, especially in these turbulent times, are many of us who feel very much like that “misfit mutt.” Discarded, dumped off, found in the streets. Caged in less than perfect circumstances and looked over because you might not be as gifted or trained as another. You might be that one with the good heart, but prone to stain filled mistakes. You might be the one full of painful worms of abuse, hoping someone will notice and help. Mangy, angry or docile. Overused and unable to produce. Though you have learned to beg and do stupid human tricks, your “best in show” blue ribbon escapes you.
Until the One “who knows you ….when He sees you” comes!
In Ephesians Chapter 1, Big Brother Paul encourages us that God already had an image of you in His mind. No matter what you may have done to make yourself unrecognizable, “God decided in advance to adopt (you) into His own family by bringing (you) to himself…This is what He wanted to do and it gave Him great pleasure.” (V5NLT)
That alone should make your tail wag! Your “pound rescue” includes so much! God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, adopts you as His own and gives us every good spiritual blessing as He unites us with Christ. Some of your “tags” in Christ are outlined in Paul’s letter:
V4: Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes
V6 “….glorious grace He has poured out on us”
V7 He is so rich in kindness and grace that He purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins.
V 8 He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.
V11 Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God,[c] for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan.
V13 “……Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, He identified you as His own“
V 14 The Spirit is God’s guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. He did this so we would praise and glorify him
Take a quick moment if you will. Reread the parts I have underlined on your adoption certificate. Now take a praise break knowing that the Creator of the Universe, The Savior of the World, the King of Glory, promises all of this just to bring you “Home” with Him.
It gives Him great pleasure to be with you.
All He is asking in exchange is that you receive His love for you. No matter how imperfect or less than worthy you feel right now ……come on out the cage!
No matter how far back in the pound you feel, Christ took your place at the Cross. You don’t need to worry about life “putting you to “sleep.”
Don’t worry, He will never keep you tied up or on a leash, He wants you to experience the freedom of a daily walk with Him. He will provide. He will care for you. He will be your security.
Best of all, you can stop chasing your tail now. God has a plan for you! He chose you….. in advance!
defygravitywithoutwings.com 