ESCAPED – February 12, 2021

They call it domestic
But the concept is still foreign to me.
How does someone claim to love you then proceed to love you to death?

To the woman of whom the reporters described as “Henrico , East End, House a bloody crime scene, neighbors called police on a regular ” .

I shall mourn for you and your life cut short. I will not allow you to be victimized or blamed for the sins of an eager lover.

In my mind, you fought back but just were not strong enough. You were a warrior weary on the battle. Backed into a corner, you escaped your bruised soul and murdered body.

If his love is called domestic then your exit can be called an escape.

I regret not knowing you before the stories. I would have shared mine so we could have walked out together.

BECAUSE

I don’t give because I am rich. I give because I have to trust God for every dime.

I don’t sing because I am happy all the time. I sing because I know He is with me even when I can’t trace the process.

I don’t write because I am gifted. I write because I need to always hear His word speaking to me.

I don’t cry because I am weak. I cry because I know He has plans for me.

I don’t lay hands because I think I am a miracle worker. I lay hands because He worked a miracle in me.

I don’t love hard because I am needy. I love hard because He loves hard.

I don’t believe but I am so super in faith. I believe because He has never lost a battle.

I don’t walk this life because I chose it. I walk this life because He chose me

No need to remind me that I am not perfect.
I know already.
God knows already.
His definition of perfect is His alone to use.

-From the Ministry of The Misfit – Michelle Gillison-Robinson

When Jesus Wept

I woke up in the wee hours of the morning knowing full well that being a member of the over 40 (actually over 50) crowd that sleep was not going to return.

I tried my usual search for something good to add to my spirit. However, my usual comfort of “Christian” television was still replaced by election commentaries. Something I sorely needed a break from. Disappointed, I tried channel after channel, carefully trying to avoid politics and the food shows…..didn’t need to add that stress habit either.

I stumbled across a sweet but simply acted movie called “A Heart That Forgives.” Cliche story about two brothers, one a preacher and the other a drug dealer. Both in need of peace and forgiveness and the road God took them and others down the path to the altar.

I was struck by the bible being used as a weapon to keep one person out of the faith and the bible literally saving another by catching a bullet intended for his heart.

I began to weep. Mourn actually. I had to stifle my sobs to avoid waking my family. But the pain in my spiritual heart was being felt in my physical body. It took all in me not to scream “God forgive us.”

I pause here to say that this is no political statement. I have tried hard to not make any since I have witnessed first hand over the last decade or so how the blessings of democracy has demonized relationships.

Marriages, families, co-workers, friends and now congregations, fractured at the heart. Can’t sit at dinner with this uncle. Can’t go there with this aunt. Can’t be in a meeting with that boss. Can’t go to church because….

Ugh. It hurts just to say it so I won’t.

God put a desire on my heart to have our congregation to take communion every Sunday which is not our custom. I didn’t necessarily say leading up to the election but it fell that way. Communion is a time to reflect on the sacrifice of Christ. How our health, peace and salvation rested on a God that so loved this world…the world of “us”.

In doing so we had to examine ourselves before we could partake. Reflect, release, revise and revive is what I like to call it. A time to focus and honor the goodness of God by getting our hearts right with God and each other.

Here with tears in my eyes, I so pray that the entire Body Of Christ what stop for a moment and take communion. Specifically with a brother or sister of whom your political ideals do not line up with. Reflect, release, revise and revive.

Yes, I know the scripture says “how can two men walk unless the agree.” But no matter who you voted for…can we not agree that the Creator of this universe is capable of fulfilling His Word. Can we agree the He still occupies heaven no matter who occupies the White House?

Why instead are we on social media condemning each other to hell over a manmade desk that suddenly became sacred? Are we not supposed to be winning souls for the Throne of Grace instead?

Why instead are we arguing and threatening civil war over what government should or should not do? Are we not the ones who should seek to help the sick, feed the poor, provide relief for the stranger, protect our brother no matter the color, and provide a way of escape to the mother who thinks there is only one option? Can’t we protect the child in the womb and the child at the border without hating each other?

Is this pain, I imagine I am feeling what Samuel was feeling when the Children of Israel begged for a king like the heathen nations when God Himself wanted to be their Guide?

The worst of it is….the world is watching! They are mocking us as “so called christians”. Lower case c and in quotation marks because they don’t think we follow Christ. They call us “Trumpafiles” and “Bidenites”

How do we win them when they see us this way?

The more I reflected on this, the more my face was soaked in tears. Then I could hear in my mind my young grandson proclaiming the one scripture he knows verbatim “Jesus Wept.”

I remember answering his obvious question in terms he could understand. Jesus cried because he had lost a good friend. His friend was not sick anymore in heaven. But Jesus had to bring him back so that people could believe in God. Jesus cried because he wanted so much for people just to believe God was a good God no matter what happens and that things don’t always have to go your way for Him to still be good.

I wonder even now how many people that day really believed God or just what they saw? How many ran out to do the will of God or just benefited from a good show? How many believed that God can do all things with whatever He needs to…..even if it perceived as dead or stinking?

As I close and attempt to dry my eyes, I remind you that the weapons of our warfare are not carnal. I do not use my words to condemn how you voted. I just condemn how we use the bible as a weapon to keep people out of the kingdom instead of helping them dodge bullets.

If you feel otherwise, I invite you to take communion with me and let’s focus on the cause of Christ.

But whatever we do, let’s not make Jesus weep …..again

With All My Love and Hope For Better – Michelle

Caught Between

Caught between

What my heart feels, what my eyes behold, and what my soul can’t rest on.

Leaning not on my own understanding while crying out for an answer.

Empathy and sympathy while being confused.

Praying while angry.

Respecting opinions while finding out some friends are closet racists.

Wanting my babies to be fierce but fearing what that means in a world that fears them.

Wanting to shield them with my heart and my body while knowing crying out for mama won’t help you survive.

Caught in the divide between what I’ve been taught and what I have learned.

Wanting to be colorblind while being POC.

On my knees. Taking a knee. Death by knee.

Wanting to shut out the images but feeling irresponsible for hiding.

To be young, black and gifted. To be old, black, and tired.

To Be Black. To Be Black. To Be Black.

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It’s a fight

Trying to stay quiet cause my soul hurts. But I see the division amongst friends, family and houses of worship on the best way to handle all of this and to make sure it does not continue to plague our people.

The truth of the matter, we have a common goal for peace, for liberty, for justice and health both physical and mental. Our minds, our experiences and our faith dictate to us the push or the pull methods to get it done.

Honestly though, my biggest pains are not knowing exactly what has the impact and what will have the quickest but lasting results.

Is it fight in prayer? Is it fight with fist? Is it fight in separation? Is it fight for equality or for equity? Is it fight with my money? Is it not fight at all?

But, while we fight against a common enemy of oppression, let us not fight each other….at least not with disrespect. None of us are entirely right. Nor are any of us entirely wrong.

Some where in the middle is leadership and a plan. Be heard. Be silent. Be whatever you are called to be. But please let us not be against each other.

Many roads will lead to a common place. Let’s get there together.

Caught Between

Caught between

What my heart feels, what my eyes behold, and what my soul can’t rest on.

Leaning not on my own understanding while crying out for an answer.

Empathy and sympathy while being confused.

Praying while angry.

Respecting opinions while finding out some friends are closet racists.

Wanting my babies to be fierce but fearing what that means in a world that fears them.

Wanting to shield them with my heart and my body while knowing crying out for mama won’t help you survive.

Caught in the divide between what I’ve been taught and what I have learned.

Wanting to be colorblind while being POC.

On my knees. Taking a knee. Death by knee.

Wanting to shut out the images but feeling irresponsible for hiding.

To be young, black and gifted. To be old, black, and tired.

To Be Black. To Be Black. To Be Black.

When The One Sees You

“This is what He wanted to do and it gave Him great pleasure.”

(Ephesians 1:5b NLT)

Every day people are in search of someone to love.  Someone to care for and be cared for by.  They have an image in their heads of size, hair color, personality, affection and security.  Most often, though, that plan is reduced to a simple statement of “I will know it when I see it.”

It is this search for not just a companion, but someone to take great care for, that sends many right past the specialty shops in the mall.  Right past the big box gatherings.  Right past the matches of pure perfection and straight to the misfit mutt at the local pound.

Yes, I am talking about a puppy.  Or am I?

Amongst the human race, especially in these turbulent times, are many of us who feel very much like that…

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