Sometimes God’s provision doesn’t come with a dollar sign.

Today, I went to a doctor’s appointment that was a little rough. I won’t go into all the details, but let’s just say it was one of those appointments that left me needing a little more than what medical professionals could provide.

I needed some tenderness.
I needed some gentleness.
Truth be told, I needed my grandma.

My grandmother’s name was Alice. And that woman spoiled me rotten! She was one of those people whose love could make the whole world feel a little less frightening. The kind of grandmother who could make everything seem all right, even when it wasn’t.

And today, God sent me an Alice.

Her name really was Alice.

Now, this Alice wasn’t old enough to be my grandmother. Not even close. But honey, she carried her ways.

It wasn’t anything particularly profound that she said. She was just gentle with me. She admired my reddish hair, and somehow we began talking about my journey. As I shared pieces of my story, she kept telling me how strong I was.

Strong.

There’s that word again.

A word I’ve heard so many times throughout my life. A word people often use to describe those of us who have survived things we never imagined we’d have to endure.

But what made this encounter different wasn’t that she recognized my strength.

It was that her gentleness made me feel like I didn’t have to be strong for a little while.

I felt so comfortable with this woman, so completely at peace, that I wanted to find myself a comb and a jar of Dax grease, plop down on the floor between her knees, and let her scratch my troubles right out of my scalp.

Now, if you know, you KNOW!

There was something sacred about sitting between Grandma’s knees while she parted your hair. The gentle tug of the comb. The familiar smell of hair grease. The scratching of your scalp that somehow felt like she was reaching down into your very soul and untangling things you didn’t even have words for.

You weren’t worried about bills.

You weren’t worried about tomorrow.

You weren’t worried about being somebody’s wife, mother, grandmother, employee, caregiver, or anything else.

You were just somebody’s baby.

And for those few moments, the world could wait.

That’s what this Alice gave me today.

Not a hairstyle. Not a jar of grease. Not even a comb. Just the feeling of being somebody’s baby again.

And then, as if the encounter wasn’t already sweet enough, we started talking about singing.

My Grandma Alice couldn’t sing a lick. But that woman taught me how to sing! Imagine that. A woman who couldn’t carry a tune teaching a little girl how to find her voice.

And wouldn’t you know it? My new Alice told me she couldn’t hold a note either! I had to laugh.

Two Alices. Neither one claiming to be able to sing. Yet somehow, both had something to do with the music in my life.

My first Alice couldn’t sing, but she taught me how.

My second Alice couldn’t sing either, but she reminded me that God still knows my song.

And just when I thought the moment couldn’t get any sweeter, I received a text message from a sister-friend, ironically named, Grace.

It said:

“God shall supply all your needs.” Philippians 4:19.

I’ve heard that scripture countless times. I’ve quoted it. I’ve sung about it. I’ve believed it through seasons when I didn’t know how the bills were going to get paid or where the next provision would come from.

But today, something about those words struck me differently. It doesn’t say God will supply all your “financial” needs.

It doesn’t say He will supply all your material needs.

It says ALL YOUR NEEDS.

ALL.

Not just the mortgage.

Not just the groceries.

Not just the gas in the car or the copay at the doctor’s office.

Sometimes the need isn’t something money can fix.

Sometimes you need somebody to be gentle with you.

Sometimes you need to be reminded that you’re loved.

Sometimes you need someone to see beyond the strength everybody keeps applauding and recognize the little girl underneath it who still needs comforting.

Sometimes you need to feel safe enough to exhale.

And sometimes, you just need your grandma.

My Grandma Alice is no longer here for me to sit between her knees. I can’t reach for that comb and Dax grease and ask her to scratch my scalp one more time. Or hear her hum  “Loo Loo Loo” to the melody of any song she couldn’t sing.

But today, in a place where I was already feeling vulnerable, I encountered a woman who carried something familiar.

She didn’t have Grandma’s age.

She didn’t have Grandma’s history with me.

She didn’t even have Grandma’s ability to sing—which, apparently, wasn’t much of an ability to begin with! LOL!

But she had her gentleness.

Her warmth.

That way of making me feel safe without having to do anything extraordinary.

And I believe God knew exactly what I needed.

Not another lecture about being strong.

Not another reminder that I’m a survivor.

Not somebody telling me to keep pushing, keep fighting, or keep holding everything together.

Just an Alice.

An Alice who reminded me of the woman who spoiled me rotten, taught me to sing without being able to sing herself, and made the world feel safe enough for a little girl to simply be a little girl.

You know, we spend so much time looking for God’s provision in our bank accounts that we sometimes overlook it when it walks into the room wearing a smile.

We count the money He sends.

We celebrate the doors He opens.

We testify about the bills He pays.

But what about the people He allows to cross our paths at exactly the right moment?

What about the unexpected kindness?

The familiar comfort?

The gentle voice that quiets something inside us we didn’t even realize was crying?

What if some of God’s richest provisions can’t be deposited in a bank, because they were never meant for our pockets? They were meant for our hearts.

Today, I went to the doctor expecting to have my physical needs addressed.

But God, in His kindness, allowed me to experience something my heart had been missing.

And I came away with a new understanding of an old promise.

God shall supply ALL my needs.

Even the ones I haven’t spoken aloud.

Even the ones I didn’t realize I still carried.

Even the ones that belong to the little girl who lives somewhere inside this grown woman.

Today, I needed my grandmother.

And God sent me an Alice.

Not the same Alice.

Not a replacement Alice.

Just an Alice who carried her ways.

And for a little while, that was exactly what I needed.

Sometimes God doesn’t change your circumstances. Sometimes He sends somebody who makes you feel safe enough to face them.

Love, Chelle
Defy Gravity Without Wings
defygravitywithoutwings.com