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Faith With A Yawn

(Or: When Christmas Finally Got Me)


I did something yesterday that I almost never do.
I fell asleep at the table.

Not the polite, chin-in-hand, “I’m listening” kind of sleepy.
The real kind. The head-dip. The eyelids surrendering mid-conversation.
The kind that scared me just enough to notice.

Christmas finally got me.

I had planned for rest. I needed rest.
But life — and love — had other things lined up.

A quick visit to the nursing home turned into three hours because they were short-staffed. Again.
I stayed — because love doesn’t clock out when it’s inconvenient.

Somewhere in between, there was also chasing down folks to drop off gifts.
“Let me just swing by real quick.”
“One more stop.”
One more smile. One more bag. One more moment of making sure nobody felt forgotten.

By the time I made it home, I barely had enough energy to pivot to the next thing — visiting my mother-in-love.

Bless her — she cooked.
I ate.
And somewhere between gratitude and exhaustion, my body simply said, “That’s enough now.”

I nodded off at the table.

I laughed about it later, because it was funny.
But it also scared me — because I don’t do that.
I’m usually the one pushing through, powering up, showing up.

What I realized later is this:
That moment wasn’t weakness.
It was honesty.

My body told the truth before my mouth ever would.

We talk a lot about rest, but rarely about what happens when we don’t get it — when we keep pouring, keep visiting, keep delivering, keep caring, and assume adrenaline and responsibility will carry us through.

Sometimes they do.
Sometimes… they don’t.

And God doesn’t shame us for that.

“It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to His loved ones.” — Psalm 127:2

That verse doesn’t scold.
It exhales.

Maybe falling asleep at the table wasn’t failure.
Maybe it was permission.

Permission to admit that Christmas — the beauty, the chaos, the caregiving, the gift-chasing, the expectations — costs something.
Permission to stop pretending we’re machines.
Permission to rest without first earning it.

Today, I’m still tired.
Still booting up.
Still faithful — just slower.

And that’s okay.

If you’ve nodded off emotionally, spiritually, or physically this season — you’re not broken.
You’re human.

Pull up a chair.
Take a breath.
God is not offended by your yawn.


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Seasonal Plants, Seasonal People

A Virgin Gardener’s Confession


I buy poinsettias every year for one reason and one reason only: color.
Not longevity.
Not horticultural excellence.
Certainly not because I have a long-term relationship with plants.
This year, they had an added job description:
Cover the bottom of the Christmas tree so nobody notices I ran out of lights.
Mission accomplished.


Until Christmas Day.
That’s when the leaves started dropping.
Now, let me be clear:
I am a virgin gardener.
I don’t pretend to know plant science.
I buy things for vibes and hope for the best.


So my first instinct was to feel accused.
What did I do wrong?
Did I overwater? Underwater? Look at it funny?
But then it hit me.
The poinsettias weren’t failing.
They were finished.
They had done exactly what they were created to do — bring color, warmth, and beauty to the season.


But I had quietly reassigned them.
I wanted them to hold weight they were never meant to carry.
And when Christmas arrived — when their purpose had been fulfilled — they began to let go.
Leaves dropping isn’t always a problem.
Sometimes it’s a release.


That’s when the Spirit gently tapped me and said,
You do this too.
We stretch ourselves past our assignment.
We keep covering gaps that were meant to be temporary.
We try to stay vibrant in seasons that are asking us to rest.
And then we panic when we feel ourselves dropping leaves.
But maybe we’re not dying.
Maybe we’re done.
We can’t force beyond purpose or season.
Not plants. Not people. Not souls.
Even Scripture reminds us:
To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.
— Ecclesiastes 3:1


The poinsettia doesn’t apologize for being seasonal.
It doesn’t strive to be evergreen.
It simply shows up, shines, and then releases.
There is wisdom in that.


So this Christmas, if you feel a little bare…
If something beautiful in you feels like it’s letting go…
If you’re tempted to label it failure —
Pause.


Ask instead:
Did I serve my season well?
Because sometimes the holiest thing you can do
is stop forcing bloom
and allow rest.


— Signed,
A Virgin Gardener
Learning to let things be what they were created to be 🌺

Love Chelle

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The Gift That Keeps Showing Up

Every morning — and sometimes as early as 3 a.m. — there’s a small sacred ritual that happens on our phones.


A text thread.
Women connected by blood, history, humor, and habit.
Aunts. Nieces. Sisters. Cousins.


It usually starts with a simple greeting. A prayer emoji or a sermon link. . A “Love y’all.”


And yes… sometimes it starts because one of us can’t sleep and assumes nobody else should be sleeping either. (That one might be on me.)


This is how we stay connected now.
Because age has a way of rearranging life, schedules don’t always line up, and seeing each other as often as we’d like isn’t always possible. But love? Love adapts.


Yesterday, my Aunt Lenora changed the subject in our group text. You know how the family matriarchy does — when wisdom rises up and gently says, Pay attention.


She shared something God had revealed to her about Great-Grandma Martha and Grandma Alice.
They used to say it often around holidays and birthdays:
“I don’t want y’all to give me any gifts this time. Thank you, but I really don’t need any more.”


At the time, we smiled. Sometimes, we insisted anyway.
Because giving is how we show love.
But after they passed, we found something that stopped us in our tracks —
gifts still in their packages.
Closets holding love that had already been received in the heart.


And suddenly, the words made sense.
It wasn’t that they had everything.
It was that satisfaction had settled in.
Gratitude had overflowed.
Hearts were full. Closets were full.
And the desire for more stuff had quietly faded.


Aunt Lenora put it beautifully in the text:
“It’s not that we have everything that could be had. It’s just that at a certain point, satisfaction sets in, gratitude is overflowing, hearts are filled… and even though you’re still grateful for expressions of love, there’s no more desire for stuff.”


And then came the revelation that wrapped everything together:
“We finally understand the real meaning of Christmas.
The Father gave the Son.
The Son gave the Spirit.
The Spirit gives us life —
so we can give the gift of love.
And that gift goes on and on and on.”


That’s it.
That’s Christmas.
Not the packages.
Not the receipts.
Not the pressure to perform joy.
Just love — passed down like an inheritance no one can lose.


This season has reminded me that our worth today is not measured by who shows up for us, but by who we show up as.
Great-Grandma Martha showed up with wisdom.
Grandma Alice showed up with contentment.
Aunt Lenora shows up with revelation.
And the women in that early-morning text thread show up — faithfully, lovingly, imperfectly.


And I show up with a pen — so that my daughter, Paula, will never forget the legacy of these women.
So she will know where she comes from.
So she will recognize the holy inheritance of faith, gratitude, and love that flows through her name.


Sometimes love looks like gifts.
Sometimes it looks like unopened packages.
And sometimes it looks like a 3 a.m. text that says, I’m thinking about you. I’m grateful for you. You’re not alone.


Scripture reminds us:
“A generous person will be enriched, and one who gives water will get water.” — Proverbs 11:25
That may be the gift that never stops giving.

Merry Christmas ,

Chelle

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When Christmas Doesn’t Recognize Itself

I’ll admit it—I chuckled at first.
I saw a video of a broke Hispanic father joking with his young son that ICE had taken Santa. It was meant to be humorous, a dark joke wrapped in the language of survival. I laughed… and then I stopped.


Because once the laughter faded, the weight of it settled in.


How awful to place that kind of fear on a child. How heartbreaking that this joke even works in our current climate. And then it hit me—harder than I expected.


Under the prevailing American mindset of 2025, the very figures we celebrate at Christmas wouldn’t be welcome here.
Santa would be questioned.
Mary and Joseph would be detained.
Jesus would be born into a system already suspicious of Him.
The wise men would be asked to self-deport.
The angels would be accused of violating airspace.
And the shepherds—unhoused, roaming, living off the land—would likely be jailed for existing outside the rules.


Yes, I know—it sounds like a stretch.


And yes, there must be laws. There must be order. There must be boundaries and systems and responsibility. Scripture never denies that.


But Scripture also never allows us to weaponize law against love.
Because the story of Christmas—the real one—is not clean, controlled, or credentialed. It is a story of displacement. Of vulnerability. Of outsiders. Of God choosing to arrive without papers, privilege, or protection.


Mary wasn’t prepared.
Joseph wasn’t powerful.
Jesus wasn’t safe.
And none of them fit the mold of who society typically makes room for.


Yet this is the story we retell every year with lights and carols and nativity scenes that have grown far too tidy.
Somewhere along the way, we learned to celebrate the symbols of Christmas while quietly opposing everything they stand for.
We sing about peace while nurturing fear.
We speak of joy while guarding our comfort.
We proclaim love while questioning who deserves it.


And that should sober us.
Because Jesus Himself said,
“I was a stranger, and you invited me in.”
Not you vetted me.
Not you verified my worth.
Not you made sure I belonged first.
He didn’t ask us to solve immigration policy.
He asked us to recognize people.


The question Christmas asks us—every year, relentlessly—is not whether we believe in Christ, but whether we resemble Him.
Would we make room for Him now?
Or would we ask Him to prove He belongs?
If the answer makes us uncomfortable, maybe that discomfort is holy. Maybe it’s an invitation to return—not to tradition, but to truth.
Because Christmas has always been about God crossing borders.
And love, by nature, refuses to stay contained.

Love Chelle

Love Chelle

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Ministry In The Margins

When the year ends and life still feels unfinished

The end of a year has a funny way of demanding closure.
Wrap it up.
Sum it up.
Name the wins. Count the lessons. Post the highlight reel.


But some years don’t cooperate.
Some years limp to the finish line.
They end not with fireworks but with unanswered prayers, half-healed hearts, and a to-do list that spills right into January.


And that’s where I’ve learned something holy happens.


Ministry doesn’t wait for January 1st.
It lives in the margins between what was and what’s coming next.
That thin space between “I made it” and “I’m still standing.”
Between gratitude and grief.
Between hope and exhaustion.


I used to think ministry happened in neat rows — in quiet moments, with plenty of stillness and the right words.
But life didn’t wire me that way.


I’ve spent years feeling slightly unqualified — too busy to sit still, too restless to fit the mold.
Cancer didn’t simplify that. It complicated it.
Chemo brain stole words I used to reach for easily.
A speech impediment I thought I’d conquered as a child quietly returned — humbling me in ways I didn’t expect.
And the truth is, I’ve never quite fit into the version of “qualified” society seems most comfortable with.
Clear. Calm. Composed.
Tidy faith. Tidy testimony.
That hasn’t been my story.


And yet… God still showed up.
Not correcting my pace.
Not asking me to sound different.
Not waiting for me to feel confident or complete.


Jesus has always been comfortable in the margins.
He’s the Savior with mud on His hands, not a microphone.
The One who kneels in the dirt.
The One who notices the people others step around — and calls them.


The margins are where we stop pretending the year went as planned.
Where faith sounds less like a declaration and more like a whisper.
Where our prayers become, “Lord, carry me forward.”
And maybe that’s the truest kind of ministry there is.


As this year closes, I’m not interested in pretending it was tidy.
I’m grateful — deeply — but I’m also honest.
Some healing is still in progress.
Some clarity hasn’t returned on command.
Some strength showed up only one imperfect day at a time.
And yet… grace was there.
In the margins.


If you’re crossing into a new year feeling unfinished —
If your faith feels real but worn around the edges —
If you don’t feel polished, poised, or particularly qualified…
You’re not behind.
You’re standing exactly where God loves to work.
Right there.
Between the years.
In the margins.
I’m not entering the new year polished — I’m entering it carried.

Safe in His arms to Be Carried Into A New Year

Love, Chelle

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The Light Still Works


I’ve always told people this—and I’ll keep telling it until somebody takes my peppermint tea away:


Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa do not cancel each other out.
They don’t compete.
They don’t substitute.
They don’t need a theological cage match.
They simply tell different parts of the human story.


Christmas celebrates His birth—God choosing skin and breath and inconvenience


Hanukkah reminds us of tradition, remembrance, and light that refused to go out, even when logic said it should.


Kwanzaa lifts up principles that look suspiciously Christ-like—unity, purpose, responsibility, faith lived out loud.


Different languages.
Same longing for light.


In Hanukkah, there is a center candle called the shamash—the servant candle.
It’s set apart.
It’s lit first.
And it doesn’t shine for itself.
Its whole purpose is to light all the others.


That image has always stayed with me. Because in Christianity, that’s Jesus.
He didn’t arrive demanding attention.
He didn’t come to be admired from a distance.
He came to serve, to ignite, to give light away—even when it cost Him everything.
Jesus is the Servant Candle.
Lifted up not for status, but for sacrifice.
Set apart not for glory, but for love.


Kwanzaa, too, places a center candle—the black candle—knowing who the people are, grounding everything else in identity and purpose. Not a servant candle, but a reminder that light means little if you forget who you are while holding it.


Different meanings.
Same truth: light is meant to be shared.


This conviction was born years ago when a young friend looked at me like I’d grown a second head because I knew what the symbols on a dreidel meant. He had just given it to me—a gift from a Jewish friend—and suddenly panic set in.
“Is that… disrespectful to your Christian beliefs?”


I smiled. Because fear usually shows up when faith hasn’t been fully introduced to trust yet.
Accepting that gift didn’t weaken my faith.
It revealed it.


Jesus never seemed nervous around other people’s traditions.
He showed up where He was invited.
He honored faith wherever He found it.
He let light come from unexpected places.


And if I’m honest—any faith that collapses because it encountered someone else’s story probably needed better roots.


This is the Scripture I come back to when the debates get loud and the lines get drawn too tight:
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”
— John 1:5
Notice it doesn’t say whose darkness.
Or which calendar.
Or what kind of candle.
It just says light still works.


And if a tradition, a candle, or a principle reminds us to live more faithfully, love more generously, or serve more humbly—then maybe the question isn’t “Is this disrespectful?:
Maybe the better question is:
“Did the light reach you?


Because when it does, you don’t argue about the source.
You’re just grateful you can see.

Love Chelle

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Store-Bought Crust, Real Filling

What Christmas chaos taught me about sincerity

It’s Christmas.
Which means the house isn’t quiet, the schedule isn’t kind, and nothing is quite as together as the Hallmark movies promised.

There are lists half-checked, boxes half-opened, and flour somehow in places flour should never be.

I used a box mix for the cookies.
No-bake “snow pies” pretending real hard to be cheesecake.
And the pie?
Well… the crust came from the store,
but the filling?
That part is 100% real.

Also—full disclosure—
there is a pile of tasting spoons in the sink.
Because no shortcut baker is licking a spoon and putting it back.
We are tired, not reckless.

Somewhere between the chaos, the Christmas music playing too loud, and me stepping over things I swear weren’t there five minutes ago, it hit me.

We spend a lot of time apologizing for our shortcuts.

“I didn’t make it from scratch.”
“I didn’t do as much as I wanted.”
“I don’t have it all together this year.”

But what if God isn’t inspecting the packaging—
what if He’s tasting the heart?

The crust might be store-bought, but the love is homemade.
The method might be quick, but the intention is honest.
The presentation might be simple, but the offering is real.

Jesus never demanded everything be handcrafted—
He asked that it be sincere.

He fed crowds with borrowed bread.
He healed with mud and spit.
He entered the world not in perfection, but in a mess of hay, noise, and interrupted plans.

Not fancy.
Not polished.
Just real.

So if your Christmas looks like box mix faith and no-bake prayers,
don’t disqualify it.

If your life feels like shortcuts and substitutions,
but the filling is still genuine—
grace counts that.

Scripture reminds us—right in the middle of our mess:

“The Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
— 1 Samuel 16:7

God isn’t grading your technique.
He’s receiving your offering.

And tonight, around a table of “good enough” desserts, Christmas clutter, and way too many spoons to wash,
there is more holiness than we realize.

Because what’s real on the inside
has always mattered more than how it was wrapped.

P.S.  If you come wash these spoons, I’ll save you a little something

Love Chelle

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When Life Blows Your Cover

The wind didn’t check my schedule.
It didn’t ask permission.
It didn’t care that I had already done enough for one week, much less one day.


It just came—
hard, sudden, unapologetic—
and ripped the cover right off my greenhouse.


Which, for a brief and dramatic moment, sent me spiraling into full bad plant mommy theology.
I immediately calculated the money I’ve spent on soil, seeds, trays, covers, optimism, and audacity.
I pictured myself explaining—again—how I tried one more time to grow food like a capable adult.
And somewhere in that panic, I accepted my future fate:
All this effort.
All this chaos.
And next spring… one carrot.
Crooked.
Probably bitter.
Judging me.


That’s when my heart did that drop it does when something precious feels exposed.
My babies.
Tender things.
Things still growing.


That’s the panic, really.
Not the storm itself—
but the fear of exposure.


But then grace slipped in quietly.
My son found the cover.
He put it back on.
And it was secured before the temperature dropped.
That timing matters.


Because sometimes life doesn’t destroy what we love—
it just startles us long enough to remind us how vulnerable we are.


The wind will come.
Covers will lift.
Plans will flap wildly in directions we didn’t approve.


But here’s what this moment taught me:
The roots were already stronger than I realized.
Protection returned before the damage reached what mattered most.
God doesn’t always stop the wind.
Sometimes He just makes sure the cold doesn’t get to the roots.


And when I go out later today to check on my babies,
I already know this truth will meet me there:
They survived not because conditions were perfect—
but because grace showed up in time.
So if life feels a little exposed right now…
If the wind rattled what you thought was secure…
Take heart.
The cover can be restored.


Help may already be on the way.
And what God planted in you was made to survive more than you think.
“The wind blew my cover, but it didn’t get my roots.”
“The Lord will keep you from all harm—
He will watch over your life.”
— Psalms 121:7
Sometimes grace doesn’t look like calm skies—
it looks like protection returning just in time.


Love,  Chelle

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The Mad Not Wrapper

1 Samuel 16:7 — People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.


I am known in my family as “The Mad Not Wrapper.”

Not because I’m angry.
Not because I don’t care.
But because I refuse—*REFUSE*—to wrestle with wrapping paper, tape that sticks to itself, and bows that look like they were sat on.

Instead, I use Christmas-printed trash bags and gift bags.
Festive. Functional. Honest.

If you’re lucky, you might get tissue paper.
If you’re really lucky, the bag won’t have a knot.

And yet… somehow… every year…
There are tears.
There is laughter.
There is joy.

Which tells me something important:
The magic was never in the wrapping.

Jesus never wrapped the loaves and fishes.
No parchment.
No ribbon.
No “presentation matters” speech.

There were no matching baskets or branded packaging.
Just a boy’s lunch.
Bread. Fish.
Ordinary. Bare. Exposed.

And here’s the part we often rush past:

Jesus saw the need.
He received what was offered.
And He gave thanks before anything multiplied.

That gratitude—before the miracle—was the wrapping.

He didn’t disguise the lack.
He didn’t pretend it was enough on its own.
He simply acknowledged it fully and thanked God anyway.

And thanksgiving?
That’s where miracles breed.

We live in a world obsessed with wrapping.

We wrap our lives in filters.
Our faith in pretty words.
Our pain in silence.
Our generosity in explanations.

We size people up by their packaging:
how they speak
how they dress
how polished their testimony sounds

We even do it to ourselves.

“I’d offer more if I had it together.”
“I’d serve if my life wasn’t such a mess.”
“I’d show up if I looked the part.”

But Jesus never asked for polished packaging.
He asked for **what you have**.

Unwrapped.
Unfiltered.
Still smelling like fish.

Some of the most powerful gifts I’ve ever received weren’t wrapped at all:
* a hand held in a hospital room
* a meal dropped off in a grocery bag
* a prayer whispered when words ran out

None of them were pretty.
All of them were holy.

And I wonder how many miracles we miss because we’re too busy critiquing the container instead of receiving the gift.

Here’s the truth the Mad Not Wrapper has learned:

Love doesn’t need lace.
Faith doesn’t need bows.
Purpose doesn’t need perfection.

What God multiplies is what’s inside —
when it’s offered honestly
and thanked for fully.

So this season, maybe we stop evaluating:
our worth
others’ value
our readiness
based on the wrapping.

Maybe we learn to see the gift.

Because Jesus still takes ordinary things, gives thanks, and feeds multitudes.
No wrapping required.

And if He can do that with bread and fish…

He can surely do something beautiful
with you.

Merry Christmas. May your lack of wrapping bring you joy.

Love Chelle

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When The Living Room Is Empty

Faith With Hospital Wristbands, Holiday Chaos, and Learning to Rest Without Guilt

Normally, this is my season.
From Thanksgiving to Christmas, my house is supposed to look like
Mrs. Claus and Oprah teamed up and ignored every fire code.
For almost 21 years, I’ve carried on what my grandma started —
“You get a gift. You get a coat. You get a toy.”
Everybody gets something.
No background check. No budget meeting. Just love.


We weren’t rich growing up — not even a little —
but my grandma taught me that giving is sacrifice
with beautiful returns and terrible timing.
She made generosity feel like oxygen:
you don’t hoard it, you breathe it out.
But the last two years?
Chaos said, “Oh, you like traditions? Cute.”


Last year, I nearly exited the planet
thanks to an emergency gallbladder infection —
which, for the record, did not come with a warning email.
This year — almost to the day —
my husband decided to add a cardiac episode
to the holiday calendar.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like hospital wristbands
and vending-machine dinners.


So instead of my living room being stacked with toys and coats
to the point of requiring alternate routes and safety briefings,
it stayed… walkable.
No piles.
No rerouting.
No “don’t trip, that’s for the kids” warnings.


And I hated how much that hurt.


Because when chaos is my idea, I thrive.
I can organize mess.
I can schedule generosity.
I can turn madness into ministry.


But this chaos?
This one flipped the table and said,
“You’re going to sit down now.”


The guilt tried to convince me I’d lost my purpose.
That I’d failed Mrs. Claus school.
That someone else stepping up meant I’d been replaced.


But Jesus doesn’t measure faithfulness in square footage or stack height.
And He doesn’t shame people whose bodies clock out before their hearts do.


“God loves a cheerful giver.” — 2 Corinthians 9:7


And some seasons, cheer looks like wrapping gifts.
Some seasons, it looks like sacrifice.


And some seasons — the loud, scary, unplanned ones —
it looks like surviving, laughing anyway,
and whispering thank You from a hospital chair.


An empty living room doesn’t mean an empty calling.
It just means love changed outfits this year.
Someone else stepping up isn’t proof I’ve been replaced —
it’s proof the lesson worked.
And maybe this season,
the most generous thing I can give
is rest without guilt
and faith with hospital wristbands.


Pocket Peace:
Jesus, meet me in the chaos —
the ER lights, the interrupted plans, the traditions on pause.
Remind me that purpose doesn’t disappear when life goes sideways —
it adapts, it waits, it trusts You
to keep the giving going
even when my hands are shaking
and my living room is suspiciously clean.
Amen.