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When The Role Changes But The Purpose Remains


Yesterday, I did something that is not unusual for me when I get tired of adulting. I went to see a children’s movie.

Some people head to a spa. Some go shopping. Some book a weekend getaway. I apparently seek spiritual counseling from animated characters.

After a frustrating day at work and life, I exited being grown and didn’t  even stop for a grandchild so i wouldn’t look weird in the theater without a kid. 

I wasn’t looking for a life lesson. I was simply tired and in need of a break from the responsibilities and pressures of everyday life. I walked into the theater looking for a distraction. I walked out with a devotional.

As the story unfolded, I found myself drawn to Sheriff Jessie. Without spoiling Pixar’s story, Jessie finds herself wrestling with a question many of us eventually face: What happens when the role you’ve always known no longer defines your future?

At first glance, it sounds like a children’s movie question. It isn’t. It is a life question.

For years, Jessie understood who she was through a specific role and purpose. Then circumstances changed, and she had to decide whether she would cling to the identity she had always known or embrace the purpose that was still unfolding.

As I sat there with my popcorn, I realized I wasn’t really thinking about Jessie anymore. I was thinking about me.

Most of us spend years introducing ourselves by our roles. We are mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, employees, caregivers, ministers, leaders, providers, and problem-solvers. Those roles matter. They are gifts from God and assignments for a season.

But what happens when a season changes?
What happens when the children grow up?
What happens when retirement appears on the horizon? What happens when a ministry shifts? What happens when a relationship changes?

What happens when the title you’ve carried for years no longer fits as comfortably as it once did?

Too often, we mistake the role for the purpose. The role is simply the container. The purpose is what God placed inside it.

Moses was a prince before he was a shepherd. He was a shepherd before he was a deliverer.

Peter was a fisherman before he became a disciple.

Esther was an orphan before she became a queen.

Paul was a Pharisee before he became an apostle.

The roles changed. The purpose remained.

As I watched Jessie struggle with letting go of who she thought she was, I began to wonder how many of us are fighting the same battle. Sometimes God asks us to release an identity that has become too small for where He is leading us.

Not because the old role was bad. Not because the old season was a failure. But because the role was never meant to be permanent.

Recently, my garden has been preaching the same sermon. My potato plants are dying back. The leaves are yellowing. The vines are flopping. To an untrained eye, it looks like something is dying.

And it is.

But underneath the soil, something beautiful has been growing all along. The purpose was never the leaves. The leaves were evidence of the process. The harvest was hidden beneath the surface.

Yesterday morning, I found myself sad because some of the joy I usually feel in the garden seemed harder to find. Life had been busy. Responsibilities had piled up. Grief, work, caregiving, deadlines, and adulting had all been taking up more space than I wanted them to.

Then it rained.

While I sat in a movie theater watching Sheriff Jessie wrestle with purpose, the sky was watering my garden.

God has a way of doing that. He reminds us that not everything depends on us. Sometimes while we are busy worrying about the leaves, He is tending the harvest.

Perhaps you are standing in a season where the leaves are changing. A role may be ending. A chapter may be closing. A title may be shifting. If so, do not be afraid.

When God changes the role, He has not abandoned the purpose. What He planted in you is still there. What He called you to be is still there. What He spoke over your life is still there.

The role may change.

The purpose remains.

Love, Chelle

Pray with me:

Father, help me recognize the difference between my role and my purpose. When You call me into a new season, give me the courage to release what is familiar and trust what You are growing beneath the surface. Remind me that my value is not found in a title, an assignment, or the expectations of others, but in being Your child. When the leaves begin to change, help me trust the harvest You have been preparing all along. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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Pocket Visions and Cleaning Supplies


This morning, I woke up and couldn’t find my glasses.

Now, for those of us who have reached a certain age and prescription strength, this is not a minor inconvenience. This is a full-scale emergency.

I looked on the nightstand.
I looked under the bed.
I looked in the bathroom.
I looked in places where glasses have never been a day in their lives.

Nothing.

So I sent a message to the Gillison Girls group chat:

*”Uggh. I must have been sleepwalking again. Can’t find my glasses anywhere. And no, they are not on my face.”*

My Aunt Katy, immediately responded:
*”Did you find them? True essay—walking by faith, not by sight.”*

Everybody laughed.

Then my older sister Melody came in for the finish:
*”Or when you’re walking around with your vision in your pocket.”*

Because, yes. That’s exactly where the glasses were.

In my pants pocket.

The same pants I had apparently laid out during some mysterious middle-of-the-night adventure.

To make matters stranger, the shoes were positioned. The clothes were arranged. From all available evidence, Sleepwalking Chelle was preparing to go somewhere.

I just have no idea where.

The whole thing was funny until I realized there was a sermon hiding in the middle of the jokes.

How many times have we told God we couldn’t see?
Couldn’t see the answer.
Couldn’t see the next step.
Couldn’t see how things were going to work out.
Couldn’t see the purpose.
Couldn’t see the miracle.

And all the while, we’ve been carrying the very vision we thought we lost. Maybe not the whole picture. Maybe not every detail.

But enough. Enough light for the next step. Enough wisdom for today’s decision. Enough faith for today’s burden. Enough grace for today’s journey.

Sometimes we’re searching the whole house for something God has already placed in our pocket.

We ask Him for vision when He’s already given us purpose.We ask Him for direction when He’s already shown us the next step. We ask Him for confirmation when He’s already spoken.

The glasses weren’t lost.I just didn’t know where to look. Maybe that’s true of some of the things we’re praying about too.

And then there’s the part I can’t stop laughing about. Apparently, in the middle of the night, I was getting ready to go somewhere.The clothes say so. The shoes say so. The glasses in the pocket say so.

I may not remember the journey, but there was evidence of preparation.

That’ll preach.

Because sometimes God is preparing us for places we can’t yet see.

We don’t know where we’re going. We don’t understand what’s happening. We can’t remember how we got here.

But there are signs everywhere that He is getting us ready. Ready for healing. Ready for ministry. Ready for change. Ready for a blessing. Ready for the next chapter.

So if you can’t see clearly today, don’t panic. Check your pockets.

You may be carrying more vision than you think.

Oh and before I forget,  after I found my glasses in my pocket I found a duster cover in the pajama shirt I was wearing.

Wherever I was planning to go, I was apparently determined to see it clearly and dust it first.

With Love And Laughter
Chelle

defygravitywithoutwings.com

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The Potatoes I Didn’t Believe In


I almost gave up on them.

Not because they died, but because they didn’t seem to be doing anything.

Day after day I walked past those grow bags, peeking into the soil, looking for evidence that my effort had mattered. I watered. I waited. I worried. Then I worried some more. Nothing. At least nothing I could see.

I remember standing over those bags convinced I had failed them. The gardening experts had plenty to say. Use seed potatoes. Use certified potatoes. Use organic potatoes. Use the right potatoes. Meanwhile, I was standing in the grocery store buying potatoes the same way I’ve bought them all my life—to cook, to eat, to turn into fried potatoes on a Saturday morning. I didn’t know their pedigree. I didn’t know their variety. I didn’t know whether they had the proper credentials for success.

I just planted what I had.

Then one morning, after weeks of wondering, I looked a little harder and found a tiny green shoot. Just one. Not a harvest. Not a miracle. Just enough evidence to keep me from giving up.

Soon there was another shoot. Then another. Before long, the bags were overflowing with green vines spilling over the edges. The plants that once seemed dead now looked determined to take over the backyard. My husband and I laughed about it because I honestly don’t know what kind of potatoes I planted. I never paid attention to potato varieties. I bought them because they were on sale, brought them home, cooked them, and ate them. Yet there they were, growing anyway.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized this wasn’t really about potatoes.

We pray for miracles, but we often expect God to use certified methods. We look for the right people, the right circumstances, the right timing, the right credentials, and the right opportunities. Yet over and over again, God chooses ordinary things. A shepherd’s staff. A boy’s lunch. A widow’s oil. A handful of grocery-store potatoes.

The lesson wasn’t really about gardening. The lesson was about trust.

Sometimes God is growing something long before we see it. Sometimes what looks dormant is simply developing underground. Sometimes the miracle isn’t cancelled; it’s just hidden beneath the surface.

But the funny thing about potato gardening is that the story doesn’t end with all that beautiful green growth.

In fact, after the vines have stretched, the leaves have multiplied, and you’ve finally convinced yourself you’ve succeeded, the plants begin to die back.

The leaves yellow. The stems droop. The lush green growth that once made you so proud starts to fade. If you don’t know better, you’ll think you’ve lost everything. After all that waiting, all that watering, all that hoping, it can feel like the story is ending in disappointment.

But experienced gardeners know something different.

Of which I am not—at least not yet.

I’m still the woman who planted grocery-store potatoes without knowing what kind they were. I’m still the gardener who stood over those bags convinced I had failed. Yet even I am beginning to learn that the dying back isn’t the end of the story. It’s the signal that the harvest is near.

The plant is not giving up. It is finishing its assignment.

All season long, the energy that showed up above ground has been quietly producing something beneath the soil. When the visible growth begins to decline, it often means the hidden work is complete. The harvest was forming long before anyone could see it.

It reminds me of Galatians 6:9:

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

The funny thing is that the harvest often begins forming long before we can see it. God is working beneath the surface while we are still looking for evidence above ground.

Isn’t that true in life sometimes?

We celebrate the seasons of visible growth. The opportunities, the promotions, the breakthroughs, the answered prayers we can point to and photograph. Yet there are other seasons when something appears to be fading, changing, or coming to an end. A role shifts. A season closes. A body grows tired. A prayer is answered differently than we expected.

What if every ending isn’t a failure?

What if some things have simply completed their work and are making room for a harvest we cannot yet see?

Sometimes what looks like dying is actually ripening.

Maybe that’s why I love these potato bags so much. They have been preaching a sermon all spring. First they taught me that dead and dormant are not the same thing. Soon they will teach me that decline and defeat are not the same thing either.

I planted what I had.

God grew what He wanted.

And somewhere beneath those leaves, where I cannot yet see, a harvest is forming.

Maybe that’s true in more places than my garden.

Love,
Chelle

defygravitywithoutwings.com


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Silent Screaming

Trigger Warning: This reflection discusses grief, youth violence, childhood trauma, emotional neglect, and the long-term impact of silence within families and communities.

I thought I was just there to sing.

Instead, after my last song,  I sat listening to a mother whose 19-year-old son had been killed less than five minutes from home. She described him as the good kid. The one who checked on his parents. The one who helped people. The one who stayed connected.

And somehow, despite all of that goodness, she now lives with the reality that she had to bury him.

What shook me even more was not just her pain, but her posture.

As she spoke about the young man responsible receiving a 46-year sentence, I heard both grief and forgiveness in her voice. Not weakness. Not denial. Just a heartbreaking understanding that tragedy had swallowed more than one life that night.

She spoke about childhood trauma. About children carrying pain nobody stops to address until it explodes into violence in the streets. And then she said something that settled heavily in my spirit. She talked about the dangerous things we normalize in our homes:

“Children are to be seen and not heard.”

“What happens in this house stays in this house.”

For generations, many of us were taught those sayings as discipline, respect, or family loyalty. But sometimes those same words teach children something else entirely:

Your feelings do not matter here.

Your pain is inconvenient here.

Your truth is unsafe here.

So children learn to survive by swallowing emotions they were never meant to carry alone. Fear gets buried. Anger gets buried. Shame gets buried. Hurt gets buried.

But buried pain does not disappear.

Eventually it leaks somewhere.

Sometimes it leaks into addiction.
Sometimes into rage.
Sometimes into depression.
Sometimes into violence.
Sometimes into emotional numbness.
Sometimes into streets filled with children trying to release emotions nobody allowed them to safely process at home.

As I listened to her speak, a familiar phrase rose in my spirit so strongly that I walked up and shared it with her afterward.

I told her, “I call it silent screaming.”

Because that is exactly what so many people are doing.

They are screaming internally while functioning externally.

Smiling.
Working.
Going to church.
Posting selfies.
Making jokes.
Serving others.
Showing up every Sunday while quietly unraveling inside.

And honestly, the church should be leading the effort to erase silent screaming.

Not by becoming a place where people perfect appearances, but by becoming safe enough for honesty again.

Too many people have mastered church behavior while still bleeding emotionally underneath the surface. We know how to shout over pain, dance over pain, quote Scripture over pain, and hide pain behind ministry titles.

But Jesus always stopped for what was underneath.

He noticed the overlooked.
He listened to the hurting.
He saw what everybody else missed.

And maybe that is part of our assignment too.

To hear people before they become headlines.

To create homes where children feel emotionally safe enough to speak.

To remind people that silence is not always strength.

Sometimes silence is survival.

And some children end up on the 6 o’clock news because nobody heard them when they whispered.

“There is a time to be silent and a time to speak.”
— Ecclesiastes 3:7

Love, Chelle


DefyGravityWithoutWings.com

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Even Though


So I was listening to Scripture, already sitting in the middle of a situation that felt heavy, when that line from Psalm 23:4 came through: “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” And it stopped me. Because what I’m in right now doesn’t feel like a shadow of death… but it sure does feel like a shadow of change.

And that part hit me sideways. “Yea, though…” but all I could hear was even though. Not churchy. Not polished. Just plain and honest.

Even though this is not how I thought this season would look.
Even though things are shifting whether I’m ready or not.
Even though what used to feel steady doesn’t feel as steady right now.
Even though I’m trying to hold it together and trust God at the same time.
Even though.

Because “even though” doesn’t mean I’m ignoring the valley. It means I see it real clear, and I’m still walking. Not skipping. Not shouting. Just walking… through a shadow of change I didn’t ask for.

Isaiah 43:2 reminds me that when I pass through the waters, He will be with me. Through it, not around it. And if I’m being honest, I definitely asked for around it.

Then there’s Habakkuk 3:17–18, that grown-woman kind of faith. Though nothing is budding, though things aren’t producing like they should, yet I will rejoice. Not loud. Not for show. Just a quiet choice between me and God.

And 2 Corinthians 4:8–9—pressed, perplexed, struck down… yeah, that part. But not crushed. Not destroyed. Still here.

Somewhere between “Lord, help me” and “I trust You,” there’s this quiet sentence that keeps showing up: even though… I’m still going to trust You. Not because I’ve got answers, but because I’ve got Him.

And here’s something I’m holding onto… shadows shift when something is moving. So maybe this shadow of change means God is doing more than I can see right now.

God sees you. Not the put-together version, the real one. The one doing math in her head. The one holding her breath waiting on answers. The one choosing not to fall apart when it would make sense to. He sees your even though… and He hasn’t stepped out of it.

Love, Chelle
defygravitywithoutwings.com

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Even When It Still Looks Like Just Dirt

I found myself out in the garden with my uncle the other day. Him just starting his own, looking at me like I was some kind of expert.

I almost laughed.

Because just a little while ago, I was the one Googling, guessing, and hoping something—anything—would grow.

But there I was… walking him through it. Pointing to each plant. Naming what was what. Explaining what needed covering, what needed watering, what needed just a little more time—especially with that unexpected return to winter creeping back into the forecast.

“Watch this one.” “Protect that one.” “This one’s doing just fine.”

And then we got to those two patches. Just… buckets of dirt.

No green. No signs of life. No proof that anything had taken root at all.

I didn’t have a confident answer for those. I didn’t know if it was bad seed.Didn’t know if it was timing. Didn’t know if something had already failed before it ever had a chance to show itself.

But I heard myself say it anyway: “Give it two more weeks.”

Not because I had evidence… but because I understood something deeper. Everything that looks like nothing  isn’t nothing.

Some things take longer to break through. Some growth happens where you cannot see it first. Some seeds are doing their most important work in the dark. 

And maybe that’s where I am too.

Not behind.

Not forgotten.

Just… still becoming.

God is not rushing this season.

He is tending to me with intention—even in the places that look like bare soil.

Especially there.

Say this aloud with me:

I am not behind. I am not forgotten.

God is tending to me with intention, even in the quiet places.

What is meant for me is still growing, even when I cannot see it yet.

Isaiah 30:15

“In quietness and trust is your strength.”

Galatians 6:9

“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

Dear God,

Thank You for the places in my life that are growing even when I cannot see them.

Help me trust You in the waiting, in the wondering, and in the not knowing.

Give me patience for what is still beneath the surface, and faith to believe that nothing You’ve planted in me is wasted.

Remind me that I am not behind—I am still becoming.

Amen.

God sees you… trusting the soil, even when it looks like dirt.

Love, Chelle

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The Place My Name Found Me

I went forward like everyone else.

Not rushed. Not hesitant. Just… carried.

I was visiting the early service at my son’s church,  when the  Pastor called us to come sign our names on the wooden cross that had been standing since last week’s Easter service. A simple act. A physical way to mark what God had already done.

But nothing about it felt simple.

Tears started before I ever stepped out.

I watched the seniors go first
Slow steps
Steady hands
Lives the world sometimes overlooks
But heaven still calls by name

I saw the former addict sign
Not as who they were
But as who God kept

I saw those once incarcerated
Writing their names like chains had finally agreed to let go

A blind man signed
A woman limping signed
And my own deaf son… signed

Lord… that alone almost took me out

Each name wasn’t just written
It was declared
Healing
Freedom
Promise
Still in progress, but already claimed

The children came excited
Unafraid of space running out
Because children always believe there’s room

And when space did get tight
The Pastor lifted the cross higher
So those who couldn’t bend could still reach

Even at the feet… there was still room

That part preached all by itself

But what stayed with me…
What lingered…
Was where my hand landed

A rough place
Scratched
Uneven
The kind of spot that, if you rubbed it the wrong way, could leave a splinter

And I paused

Because it felt like my life

Not smooth
Not polished
Not presentation-ready

But still part of the cross

And right there, in that imperfect place
I wrote my name

Careful
Intentional
Fully aware

That Jesus didn’t die for smooth stories

He died for splinters too

For the places that still catch
Still sting
Still remind you that healing isn’t always pretty

And yet…

That rough place held my name just fine

Didn’t reject me
Didn’t shift me to a better spot

It received me
As-is

And I heard it clear as day in my spirit

“You don’t need a polished place to belong here.”

So I signed

Not because I have it all together

But because the cross already made room for every part of me that doesn’t

“By His wounds we are healed.” — Isaiah 53:5

Signing your name in places that don’t feel smooth yet
Trusting God with the parts of your story that still feel rough
Believing that even here… you belong

**Love, Chelle**
defygravitywithoutwings.com

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When Praise Cost You A Toe ( and a Little Pride)

This morning was supposed to be simple.

Just me, a broom, and some soft worship music. Nothing dramatic. Nothing deep. Just cleaning the house and minding my business.

But somewhere between sweeping one corner and turning toward the next…
that broom turned into a rhythm.

And that rhythm turned into a sway.
And that sway turned into a little two-step.

Now listen… I have not truly praise danced since my early 30s. And even then, let’s be honest, even then,I was in the back of the sanctuary respectfully copying the professionals 😌

But this morning?
Oh, I was feeling it.
Clumsy? Yes.
Anointed? Also yes.

And for a moment, it felt free.
Like I could just stay right there…
moving, praising, forgetting everything else.

And that’s where it shifted.

Because instead of staying in the praise,
my mind wandered into the problems I was trying to outdance.

Like Peter stepping out on the water in Matthew 14:29–30. As long as his eyes were on Jesus, he was good. But the moment he looked at the wind? He started sinking.

Well…The moment I stopped focusing on the praise and started focusing on everything else… I didn’t sink.

I stubbed my pinky toe.

And not just a polite little tap either. No ma’am. The kind that makes you see your whole life flash before your eyes.

Which then threw me off balance…
which then reminded my knee about that old meniscus injury from my 30s…

So now I’m in the middle of my living room,
half praising, half limping, trying to decide if I need prayer or an ice pack.

But here’s the thing Even through the pain, my thoughts got corrected. Because I realized:

Praising your way through something will cost you if you stop mid-praise to pick your problems back up.

You can’t hold both.
Not well anyway.

And right there—in between the limp and the laughter— I had to laugh at myself. Because I know I looked like something.

Just me… off beat… off balance…
still trying to be faithful in the middle of it.
And while nobody else saw it…

God did. And I believe He smiled. Because it wasn’t perfect. But it was real.

And if you needed this today…

Go ahead and praise anyway.
Even if it’s off rhythm.
Even if it’s in your kitchen.
Even if it turns into a wobble instead of a dance. Just… keep your eyes in the right place.

And if you do happen to stumble? Laugh, reset, and keep moving. Because the goal was never perfection.

It was presence.

Love, Chelle
defygravitywithoutwings.com 💛

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Lace Under My Armor

Someone told me I was one of the strongest women they know. Juggling a crippling set of battles and making it look easy.

I smiled… but something in me shifted.

Because strength has a way of being misunderstood.
People see what you carried.
They don’t always see what it cost you to carry it.

And before I could stop myself, I said it out loud:
“There is lace under my armor.”

Not everything about me is steel.
Not everything about me is survival.
There are still places in me that feel deeply.
Places that bruise.
Places that hope… even when hope has been stretched thin.

And right there… in this tender space… God met me with this:
2 Corinthians 12:9
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Not weakness like quitting.
Not weakness like falling apart with no return.

But the kind that says…
I don’t have to be hard all the time.
I don’t have to pretend I am unaffected.
I don’t have to wear armor so tight that grace can’t get in.

And, I have learned about armor,
the belt of truth holding me steady,
the breastplate guarding my heart,
the shield lifted when the hits keep coming,
the helmet covering my thoughts,
the shoes that keep me standing when I’d rather sit down,
and the sword I reach for when I need to speak life.

Each piece doing what it was designed to do…
and still, not covering everything all the time.

There are moments when something sacred shows through;
a tender place,
an honest place,
a place still being healed.

Because His strength was never designed to sit on top of my perfection.
It settles into the soft places.
The honest places.
The lace.

So yes… I am strong.
But not because I stopped feeling.
Not because I became unbreakable.

I am strong because I let God meet me in the places that still are.

There is lace under my armor…
and sometimes, my slip shows.

And that is exactly where His grace rests.

Love,
Chelle
defygravitywithoutwings.com

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Worship Beyond The Song

Worship is easy when the music is right,
the lights are soft, and nobody has touched your wounds that day.

But real worship?
Real worship sounds different.
It sounds like forgiving while your heart is still tender to the touch. It looks like choosing God when people are still choosing to bruise you.

Because worship was never just a song…
it’s a decision. A decision to trust that God is still good even when people are not.

And we saw it—not in a sanctuary, but on a cross.

When Jesus looked at the very people who were crucifying Him and said, “Father, forgive them…” (Luke 23:34)

Not after it was over. Not when it stopped hurting. While it was happening.


Sometimes worship looks like the opposite of what we expected:
Forgiving when you’re still hurting.
Praying when you’re disappointed.
Trusting when nothing makes sense.
Giving when you feel empty.
Staying when it would be easier to walk away.
Walking away when it would be easier to stay.
Being kind to people who mishandled you.
Keeping your heart soft in a hard situation.
Choosing peace when chaos would feel justified.
Telling the truth when a lie would protect you.
Resting when pressure says perform.
Waiting when everything in you wants to rush.
Obeying when you don’t understand.
Loving without getting anything back.
Letting go of what you prayed would stay.
Thanking God before you see the outcome.
Showing up again after being let down.
Keeping your integrity when nobody is watching.
Not clapping back when you have the perfect comeback.
Blessing people who bruised you.
Believing God is still good on a bad day.
Choosing joy without evidence.
Honoring God privately, not just publicly.
Surrendering your version of how it should go.
Standing still when fear says run.
Moving forward when comfort says sit down.

Because sometimes the most powerful worship isn’t what you sing in a moment of peace… it’s what you choose in the middle of pain.


It’s saying:
“God, I honor You… not because this feels good, but because You are good.”

So yes, worship Him even while the bruise is still fresh.

Not because they deserve it.But because He does.

“In quietness and trust shall be your strength.”
— Isaiah 30:15


God, teach me how to worship You beyond what is comfortable. When my heart is bruised, help me not to harden it.

When I don’t understand what You’re allowing, help me trust who You are.

Give me the strength to forgive even when the pain is still fresh, and the courage to release what is trying to take root in me that You never planted.

Let my life honor You not just in my songs,
but in my choices.

Even here. Even now.

Amen.

Love, Chelle
DefyGravityWithoutWings.com