I was watching “The Gospel According to Christmas” Tyler Perry 2026 , and something caught my attention. Not just the movie itself, but the reactions of women who disagreed with how the pastor’s wife handled a woman who was getting a little too close to her husband.
Some thought she should have confronted her. Some thought she should have raised a little more Cain. Some seemed downright offended that she chose to fight her battle through prayer and song.
And I sat there thinking, Well, that sounds a little like me.
Now, before somebody starts warming up their typing fingers, let me make something perfectly clear. I am not judging anybody.
How you choose to handle the challenges in your marriage is between you and God. I haven’t walked in your shoes, cried your tears, or endured your disappointments. And I certainly don’t get to decide how much pain another woman should be able to tolerate before she responds.
But as for me? Nobody is worth catching a case for. Well maybe my grandbabies, but you get my point.
Baby, I have bills to pay, grandchildren to love, vegetables to grow, and a calling to fulfill. I cannot be explaining to a judge how somebody else’s husband or even my own landed me in an orange jumpsuit.
Besides, orange is not my color.
But underneath the humor is something I believe deeply. There is a difference between fighting FOR your marriage and fighting OVER your husband.
I made vows to my husband. I did not make vows to every woman who might find him attractive, interesting, or available.
And if another woman comes knocking at a door that should be closed, my first concern is not necessarily why she knocked. It’s why the door was open.
Because the responsibility for honoring our covenant belongs to the people who made it.
Somewhere along the way, women were taught that another woman’s interest in our man was a declaration of war. That we had to defend our territory, establish dominance, and prove we weren’t somebody to be played with.
But my marriage is not a battlefield where two women compete for a prize. And my husband is not a trophy. He is a grown man with free will, responsibilities, and a covenant before God.
Now, don’t misunderstand me. Choosing prayer does not mean choosing denial.
I can pray and still ask difficult questions.
I can worship and still require honesty.
I can forgive and still establish boundaries.
I can love someone deeply and still refuse to participate in my own disrespect.
And I can choose peace without pretending that something didn’t hurt.
Sometimes people mistake a woman’s restraint for weakness because they have never witnessed the strength it takes to keep your composure when your heart is breaking.
But I also recognize that not every woman responds to betrayal the same way.
Some cry.
Some scream.
Some confront.
Some walk away.
Some fall to their knees.
And some do all five before breakfast.
Pain doesn’t always arrive wearing its Sunday-best behavior. So I refuse to sit in judgment of a woman whose hurt comes out louder than mine.
I don’t know what she has endured. I don’t know how long she has been swallowing disappointment. I don’t know what finally pushed her beyond what she could bear.
And I pray that nobody mistakes my quietness for an invitation to disrespect me, either. But I have learned something about fighting.
Not every battle is mine to engage.
Not every accusation deserves my defense.
Not every woman is my enemy.
And not every situation that threatens my peace deserves access to my character.
Exodus 14:14 (NLT) reminds us:
The LORD himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.
Now, that doesn’t mean God expects us to sit quietly while somebody mistreats us. Sometimes faith requires a difficult conversation. Sometimes it requires consequences. Sometimes it requires walking away.
And sometimes it requires the courage to stop trying to control what another grown person chooses to do.
I cannot pray somebody into faithfulness against their will. I cannot sing somebody into integrity. I cannot fight another woman hard enough to make a man honor vows he has decided to disregard.
But I can pray for wisdom. I can ask God to guard my heart against bitterness.
I can refuse to become someone I no longer recognize simply because someone else forgot who they were supposed to be.
And I can remember that my worth was never established by whether somebody chose me, remained faithful to me, or recognized the treasure standing before them. My worth was established long before I became anybody’s wife.
So, to the woman who chooses confrontation, I pray you find clarity without losing yourself.
To the woman who chooses to walk away, I pray you find courage for the journey ahead.
To the woman who chooses to stay and rebuild, I pray that repentance, honesty, and accountability meet you there.
And to the woman who chooses to fall on her knees and sing through the tears, I pray nobody mistakes your worship for weakness.
We don’t all have to fight the same way to deserve respect. And we certainly don’t have to condemn another woman’s response to validate our own.
As for me, I’ll keep praying, singing, and trusting God to show me when to speak, when to stand, and when to step aside. Because I am not afraid of a battle.
I have simply learned that winning an argument is not worth losing my peace, my purpose, or my freedom.
And if you need me, I’ll be over here tending my garden, minding my business, and keeping my bail money in my savings account.
Because these groceries are already too expensive for me to be adding attorney fees to the budget.
Love, Chelle
defygravitywithoutwings.com
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