In less than 24 hours, he will be officially an adult, and I will be able to stop using my husband’s AARP card and have my own.
I helped deliver this marvel and he has stolen every birthday since. He was born a little blue, and the doctor said “here grandma, you wake him up.” So, I roughed him up with love and anointing oil on my hands….praying all the while and thanking God for that first cry. Ironically, he is the only one of my grands who actually calls me grandma. I guess he heard with the doctor said.
This morning, I take another first cry for a sweet boy who now becomes a man.
Happy tears because he is now smarter than I could have ever dreamed, more loving than I could have imagined, and his future is so bright that the sun has competition.
As joyful as this triumph is, a few nervous tears as he goes to college, achieves his dream career, meets his future mate, and perhaps a brood of 6.5 feet tall children like himself. Selfish, I know, but I will always want him to let me hold him in my heart the way I did in the pic below.
Thank you, Josiah Gillison and Teonna Tull-Roberts, for the best birthday present ever.
Virginia’s quest to erase the enslavement of human beings from memory will not make it cease to have existed. I don’t teach this to my children and to their children to foster hatred but rather to show them how incredible our people are to have survived and thrived despite circumstances forced on our ancestors by american greed. Yet no one asks my Jewish brothers to forget and water down the Holocaust. No one asks the american Japanese to deny the California concentration camps. No one asks my Indian heritage to dry the Trail of Tears.
We are watered down because whenever we choose to remember we become powerful. An attempt to drown us in engineered miseducation. Reminiscent of our bloodlines drowned in the Atlantic for being too strong to make passage.
Fearful folks discriminate and suppress what and whom they are intimidated by most. Black History Month is about strength and success against incredible odds. Slavery is american history dripping in greed, oppression and supposed superiority. No need to sugar coat it or pad it with cotton. My ancestors cultivated both of those.
Oddly, the State of Virginia worried about a recent governor in “black face.” Need to be more worried about the one who has no problem showing who he really is.
While I waited to hear back on a very special “flight”, I was awaken around 1 a.m. with an amazing feeling of God expressing His love to this person.
It is what I prayed for my very special friend who found Christ late in life and went on to do some amazing things for the Kingdom. Though I know God honored his service with extended life and people who loved him and his infectious laughter, I asked that he would feel an amazing sense of being loved “just because” God does.
It made me giggle with joy and pray my beloved Doc C did too.
I also pray now for some folks in my life who have not come to know Christ for varying reasons. You may think I am nuts sometimes, but I try to impress on you that God is good despite life circumstances or the hand you have been dealt. I want you to know this love and why it makes me Peaceful when you wonder why I am not falling apart.
It’s not about rules or regulations or anything remotely religious. Its about a God who loves you, hurts for you, moves for you and works it out if we pay attention. Nobody is trying to change you. But this love does it when you truly let it in.
It’s not about being a religious freak or perfection……have you met me yet? LOL. Being set apart for God is what being Holy is. And that being set apart is based on you feeling His love and never wanting Him not to know yours. Your actions follow suit.
God loves you the way you are. His love improves you and uses your flaws to love on others. If you truly know me, then you only love me because God loved me first. If any flaw in me has steered you away from Christ…..I beg you to forgive me and let’s fix it.
To the person who feels like they are going thru hell and that God does not care. Look again. Look again.
He is there in the friend who sent you ginger snaps when chemo would not let you eat. He is there is the nurse who smiled at you just a little extra to get you thru. He is there is the coworker who sends you an emoji every morning to motivate you to live. He is there in the person who sent you food for no reason. He is there in the 100 bill somebody felt they just had to give you and you needed it.
He is there in the songs that bring you joy. He is there in the counseling sessions. He is there in the eyeglass cleaner delivered every Christmas (you know who you are.) He is there when your grandkids overwhelm you with kisses.
He is there through tough times and sorrows. He holds you when no one else will. And you wonder why you didn’t lose your mind…it was Him holding it together.
And this is for a very specific friend: He was there in every Star Wars movie. He was there in every recipe you perfected. He was there and used Optimus Prime to bring a message. He was there in Bumblee. And for Pete’s sake He is there with them crazy cats of yours. Lol. He was there during our elementary school days when you would hear my church choir wooing you but we’re afraid to come in because segregation still existed. Who do you think made us sing so freaking loud!!!! . He sent a ram in the bush to get you out of a bad situation as a child. Your family was not perfect. No earthly family is. But God whispered more times than you noticed and He is still whispering.
To all of us, just because the Red Sea has not parted for you or you have not noticed a burning bush yet, does not mean God has not loved you. People disappoint you. They disappoint God. But His love overcomes and with some focus….We can see it everywhere and in everything.
I write this with tears in my eyes because today….more than anything I want my friends and loved ones to giggle with God’s Presence today. I want to arise in Glory someday to see our comedy club section. Filled to the brim with the joy of God’s love.
Please if you need me to show you the way…..reach out to me. I’m coming for you….but hoping you catch me first.
My husband’s latest scans came back clean. Whew just in time to put a little Christmas cheer back.
My “partner in crime” cousin’s suspected breast cancer turned out to be nothing. I think she is happy I bug folks about smash-a-grams.
The Lord put me in the path of a young man who needed a Christian stranger to look past color, gender and class to “read his mail”. He thought he had hit a psychic reading which gave an inroad to talk about WHO a word of knowledge really comes from.
Then an unexpected last minute dessert order that I really didn’t know how to charge for, helped pay for 6 new sets of thermals for donation to Blessing Warriors RVA Inc. .
All I need now is for no one to offer me fruit cake and this will be the best Christmas ever.
YOUR LESSON FOR TODAY. A few days ago I was going to toss it because the other early blooms had died and it was looking rough. But I choose to cut away the dead parts and sure up the soil for what looked like one last shoot. I tied her to a bamboo stick for support. And within days this happens!!!
So take note, no matter what life looks like you will bloom again. Just remember: 1. Let Go of the dead habits and toxic folks along for the ride. 2. Check your roots and use some self care to fertilize your path 3. Tie yourself to a good support system Faith – Family – Good Friends and pro counseling!
-In Loving Memory of Edelmira Brown. November 1969 – October 2022
While discussing the miracle of my newest grandson’s birth, someone commented on how they can’t believe how any woman could abort a baby.
As I pondered, my tears told me that no one wants to kill a child, they are actually trying to kill OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS.
It made me remember hiding the fact that I had a child during high school to keep the school system from putting me out and condemning me to the Park School for Girls where you were taught that your life was over. There was never a mention of this torture for boys.
My son was 3 when he took ill during my senior year and I missed a lot of days while still maintaining honor roll. My guidance counselor tried his best to cover me (God Bless You Mr Kitt) but when the Honor Society found about my “indiscretions and extracurricular activities” they stripped my credentials. Though I ranked in the top 10% of my class, I was not given the honor stoll or pin when graduating. Nevertheless, my favorite picture from that time was me in my cap and gown with baby Josiah on my hip.
Process for college took longer. Worked two jobs. One to live and one for daycare and all to avoid welfare and the stares of people outside the office of welfare lines. Young, black, female, poor and presumed worthless.
I remember ugly comments. Some from family. Lost friends. Sat in the back of church. Smelled like fast food grease. Fell asleep in books.
It was hard. I stayed tired. But MY Choice was worth it. But I would not have made it without the support of an army of aunties, uncles, babysitters, my mom and grandma, a pastor who loved ” the little king” and Mr.Kitt who saw nothing but potential and allowed me space in his office to cry regularly.
If you truly want to end this, then let’s create JUDGEMENT FREE ZONES where women don’t carry stigma in society, shame in religion, loss of opportunity in the workplace, prevention of education, and degragation of income. Men don’t suffer with this to the point that they worry about choice.
So instead, let there be supportive measures in each segment, home, church,, work AND government, that facilitate healthy family rights options or expedient, less costly adoptions.
Don’t be the type that condemns birth control or “giving away a baby” while at the same complaining about every program to feed, shelter and educate that child once it’s born.
Let each of our opinions be replaced with SANCTUARY HEARTS where children survive because their mother’s feel safe to live.
So before you pick up another picket sign calling these women murders ask yourself: Why men in these situations can ” get away with murder” and nobody points a finger?
And the big one:
Did your MOUTH PIECE or eye roll provide the motive?
They call it domestic But the concept is still foreign to me. How does someone claim to love you then proceed to love you to death?
To the woman of whom the reporters described as “Henrico , East End, House a bloody crime scene, neighbors called police on a regular ” .
I shall mourn for you and your life cut short. I will not allow you to be victimized or blamed for the sins of an eager lover.
In my mind, you fought back but just were not strong enough. You were a warrior weary on the battle. Backed into a corner, you escaped your bruised soul and murdered body.
If his love is called domestic then your exit can be called an escape.
I regret not knowing you before the stories. I would have shared mine so we could have walked out together.
defygravitywithoutwings.com 